BSAD

I’m officially not a student anymore. Real life has begun.

I’ve spent the past three weeks panicking, about life, money, jobs, finding a house, what city to move to etc etc.

Have I managed to sort any of these? No.

I have not.

I ran off to London, with a job and a house lined up, only to find that actually I wasn’t even sure that is what I wanted. Then of course the question is, what do I want?

Do I want to be an artist, a curator, a writer, a gallery assistant. Or just get some sort of admin job whilst I try my hardest to make artwork in my spare time.

I thought I was one of the most prepared out of my fellow students, thought that actually I had options and some form of plan. I spent the best part of the year forming connections, getting jobs in the art world, blogging, writing, reviewing. Organising exhibitions and even co-creating a collective. Yet, I still find myself sitting aimleslly in my parents garden wondering what on earth the next step is.

I’ve had an exhibition since degree show, as part of Bo.Lee Gallery in Bath, I’ve even got another in London planned. So why am I not excited?

Now I realise what it is to be an artist in this day and age. It’s difficult. Why do we make it so hard for ourselves?

I’m a true believer in being able to follow the easy route, because ultimately they will both end up in the same place, you just haven’t killed yourself getting there.

How do you keep making work, that a: you are proud of and b: you are enthusiastic about exhibiting (and that inevitably you’ll have to exhibit more than once).

I feel so unmotivated to show work that I feel I want to move on from. What happens when the world likes a piece of work that you don’t like. Do you carry on exhibiting that piece because thats where the (potential) money is? Or do you move on to better things? (with the knowledge that they might not be as successful).

Well, I’ll let you know what I’m going to do.

I’m going to do this exhibition in London this Thursday.

I’m going to move to a new house with new people (probably Bristol) and I’m going to carry on making art/blogging/writing/reviewing – as this is what I enjoy.

I will find a job. A job that i want to do.

And I’m going to tackle all the new and exciting things that I have in mind.

Collaborations I feel are the way forward. In this time of recession and general lack of knowledge or care for the arts outside of the artworld, we artists and creatives need to stick together.

We need to send out a collective response, become a unity or creativity and help eachother.

This is not the time to be selfish or arrogant. No one cares anymore, no one is going to get anywhere if you have that attitude, no one is going to trust you or resonate with you.

I am still unsure, but I do know that I’m letting it all unfold, the easy way. Something will come along that is great and suited to what I’m meant to do…