My exhibition comes down tomorrow. It has been an interesting experience. I have even sold a photograph! I spent the last two days clearing out my new shed to receive the returns. It had got to the state where nearly everything in it was leaning on the thing next to it. One thing falls down and the whole contents of the shed erupt. I have been working on my website, and it’s up and running – gathering momentum even, with thanks to Anthony Boswell who recommended Photium to me. I worked at my computer until my face ached! I find with my work that feelings of satisfaction compete with worries about technical qualities, relevance. There is a tension between being pleased with the results and an underlying fear of ridicule. And the same is true of blogging, once published it’s out there for better or worse.
Blogs are like conversations in one respect, but differ in that you can go back to the record and review it in a way that is difficult in face to face conversation. It is possible to see yourself from a distance. Rob Turner writes that ‘Time is the key to all this anxiety.’ Whilst tidying my shed, I found work that I had forgotten. It surprised me, as though I had found someone else’s work. And I quite liked it. To suddenly meet a work without your hang-ups in attendance is to see it more clearly. For me I know that my underlying insecurity is such a basic part of my makeup that I would probably be lost without it, but it’s reassuring to gain the perspective of time and to let the anxieties fall away (a little!). Rob writes that he believes that ‘…artists are made by the lives they live…’ Very true.
