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Another rejection causes me to write, if only to try and get down why. I asked, and got, some feedback from the said people, which first left me angry, confused, then in denial a bit, sad and now confused again. I wasn't very strong apparently, on convincing them how I "locate your own practice within a visual arts context…" and "…within both contemporary visual art practice and the retreat".

Does that mean I should have mentioned a few artists I relate to? I just don't know, and I'm aware I probably sound incredibly naive here.

The thing is, I do try and keep up with contemporaries but to be honest that's a full time job in itself and a lot of the work I find so disappointingly shallow or pretentious it's easier to do my own thing with blinkers on. At least for a bit.

I'm aware I need to spend some time with myself and my work, creating and rationalising, in order to move on. (Insert usual moan here about not enough time, toddler and baby-to-be, blah blah.)

Ending on a positive note, I had fun last week performing with the Wrong Ensemble, the composer didn't even want to explain in philosophical detail what the works we were performing were all about, which I found strange, but like he said, maybe it was serious enough without us getting po-faced and theatrical about it. Definitely the strangest thing I have done and been paid for, that's for certain. And if that has you on the hook, I'll post the dreaded video when it becomes available.


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