Swansea Metropolitan University

I have a lot of catching up to do on my blogs… oops! Too be honest ive been really busy, so finding time to sit at the computer has been difficult.

My performance based work in Elyisum gallery went really well. I had forgotten it was the 21st that Wales was playing Ireland in the rugby, and since Elysium is right next to the train station – i had a lot of people passing by.

I went into the performance with the intention to test what it was like to do a live performance, to see how it changed my work and to not worry about having a final piece.

The performance was taken from a previous untitled piece, a video installation that involved me doing a blind sculpture in a bath. This time i used the site of the bed, still blindfolded, trying to express a physical representation of the emotional self.

It was surprisingly easy to focus on what i was doing and not what i could hear or where i was. I was shocked by the photographs, i hadn't released how close the public actually was – i felt like that had crossed into my personal space. Which is essentially wanted to happen within the artwork.

I was delighted to see the attention it brought to the gallery, people seeing me in the window, stopping, and then looking to see what the 'shop' was.

I think i will be performing again, i found the experience so informative and interesting – i'm glad i went through with it.

I have had an amazing day!

We went to Aberystwyth today as a group for marketing and self-promotion.

Catrin Webster is our lecturer for the elective, and as Aberystwyth is her home town she managed to organise a very packed day.

We visited a number of galleries, the art school MA course, the artist in residence studios, the museum and one of her artist friends Will – who is working in his studio in Aber at the moment. Not only did we go to all these venues, at each one we had a meeting with the curators, the artists, the organiser of the art group Blaengar.

I learnt so much and have such a buzz!

My enthusiasm has had a real energy boost today, infact, i sent off two project proposals just now.

Next year is going to be good, i have lot of organising to do…. but i know it will be worth it!

:-D !!!

This last week has been a very busy week. Waking up at 7am to start working on university 'stuff' and continuing straight on through to 11pm, when i have no choice but to give up due to my eyes refusing to focus any longer.

Wednesday was the busiest day by far. We went on a walk around Swansea meeting up with the different gallery curators and had meetings with them about methods of application, the proposals they tend to take on, future plans for the space etc etc. As part of the elective im taking, 'marketing and self-promotion'. This lasted most of the morning and went into the afternoon.

During this time, Grace from Lowcs International was having an informal discussion with students about getting them on board for this years event (which i managed to pop into for 30mins). I've given her the dates i am able to volunteer, hopefully i will be asked to help out somewhere.

Then at 12:55 i had an interview with a panel of lovely ladies from the local education and arts commitees. I had put a proposal forward to visit a school as an artist and lead a workshop for 5 days.

Next i had to pop in to Elysium to sort out details for my performance on the 21st March. Which has now been arranged to take place during the usual gallery opening hours, (because of health and safety concerns).

And finally, i set up my installation room and filmed another performative piece, which in its most basic form…… was me dancing my arse off for an hour non-stop. I waited until 5pm ish until i started filming, i didnt want the VERY loud music to interrupt anyone elses practice.

I can promise you that i was very red, very sweaty and had a bad back/neck/legs for a few days. Im sure someone once said that i had to suffer for my Art, hopefully this is enough suffering… otherwise i think it might kill me!

So now the weekends creeping in, i can get on AN online and type up another blog.

Next week i have the nice big installation room again, but this time im getting messy. Along with a trip to Aber and Cardiff during the week.

So if you don't hear from me for a while, it just means university has been demanding… or ive been accidently locked inside an installation room at 7pm.

Today i feel that 'everything' is resting on my shoulders…. which means that they are also eating away at my mind.

I removed all of my work from my studio space, so now it is void of art. At first the process was a way to be disobedient, to remove myself, to show that i wasn't exactly happy. By the end of it all i was left with only one or two images half-hanging onto the wall, these were potent.

Less is more?

It's time to start cutting down, taking away, removing all the excess information that is not necessary.

I am going to spend the next few days revising my art, looking at the unnecessary and removing it from my portfolio. I feel like i am controlling how people view me as an Artist. Producing and editing an identity, something i have no enjoyment in at all. Since when was the Artist a Rockstar?

On top of this my good friend "health" and "safety" and their partner "ethics" dropped by today!

The performance piece i had planned in the gallery window could potentially be 'forbidden'. Health and Safety – because of the exposure to the public during certain hours. Ethics – a girl, on a bed, in a window screams the Dutch prostitute scene (which i very much disagree with). After a chat with one of my lecturers i feel that i may have changed his position on the performance. So i haven't been officially told i can't (yet).

The strange element of this is…. that the performance is part of my EXTERNAL ELEMENT for my major practice. Which needs to be EXTERNAL (away) FROM THE UNIVERSITY. Yet they still feel they have the almighty power to control what it is i do.

I am honestly confused about how, (honestly HOW!?), this is meant to grade me as a practicing Artist.

I cannot wait for the day when i am not forcefully attached to the University, then i won't need to waste my energy constantly accepting that everything i do reflects on the universities image. Yet any other student, on any other course, can go about their life outside of the lecture theatre without worry, concern or repercussions.

I think i am less likely to have problems if i change it from a 12 hour performance to a 4 hour performance. And if i do not invite people to view the piece, and instead use it as research.

My heart is feeling so heavy.