waking up
what am i doing?
today i’m waking up to the thought that i’m involved in an affair. i’m being unfaithful to my art practice, i’m cheating on it to try and have some fun.
my practice had become a little boring and we’d not really talked about it for a while and i got bored and drifted off looking to have some fun.
at first, how i chose to have the affair was an easy option. i quickly got bored and moved to another source of fun.
and fun it was.
however outside of the gratuitous fun part, the affair has at times offered me words that have not endeared me to the affair.
i wasn’t consciously aware of it being an affair. considering it an affair gives me an out strategy.
considering it an affair makes me consider why i’m cheating on my art practice.
it had become a little staid.
in training to be a forest school leader i had hoped that my art practice would buck it’s ideas up and go with the flow. instead it’s hung it’s head and not particularly embraced the new opportunities that the forest school practice offers.
maybe my art practice is jealous of the attention the forest school practice is receiving. it need not be, they are both as important as each other to me. there is however the consideration of time. i’m spending way more time with the forest school practice and when i could be with the art practice i’m actually off being flirty with photographs.
how will my art practice take the news?
time will tell.
at the moment it’s taking the news well however it’s turning in on itself and being a little too introspective to be of any interest. i somehow need to make it feel better and reassure it that my affair in no way is attempting to undermine the critical rational that it has.
although between you and me the critical rational is the bit we need to talk about the most.
i’ll give the practice time and hopefully there will some sort of conciliatory conversation and a new attempt to work together. i still want to work with it.
it’s being a little off with me and understandably so, it’s not everyday it hears about it’s main protagonist having an affair.
a small aside…
where i’m having the affair doesn’t yet know about the other party involved in the relationship. given how the practice has reacted today, i think it best that i say nothing to the affairee and just carry on as i have been to avoid causing any more doubt or discomfort.
i’ll carry on trying to have some harmless fun and enjoy myself.
