I believe these three paintings show a progression through my artistic experience. 1. “Laguz” meaning water, emotion and the unconscious. Working towards expressing my psyche. 2. “Hagalaz” the storm and facing primal forces beyond our control (i.e the stress of the oncoming final exhibition) and 3. “Reconcilliation at 4am” where I have come back to a state of peace with my painting and understand when it is good to relax a little and know when to leave an artwork as finished.
I have finally finished painting my wall and have hung my artwork. I was debating whether to put up three or four canvases. Three was always the obvious choice but it seemed a shame to miss some of my art out. I had asked for a larger area so that I could hang more of my artworks. Unfortunately I have only one wall, however I am pleased with how the selected paintings work together. It is definitely better with more space around the artworks. The three paintings chosen are my most recent works and were all painted in a more relaxed fashion than some of the others. They just worked from the offset.
I made these drawings last night using pencil, charcoal and oil paint on paper. I tried to make them quickly and resist the urge to overwork them. I’m not sure if they are very successful but working on paper seems to help with the lesson. There were a few which I did overwork which I have not posted here. There is no going back when your working on paper. The freshness of the white sheet is an element which I wished to maintain. Leonardo da Vinci stated that “Art is never finished, only abandoned”. In my case however it is never abandoned, if I’m not happy with it I will keep going until it is another painting entirely. I am learning how to detach myself from my work. The artworks are often better in a more ‘raw’ unfinished state. It is a lot less stressful anyway knowing when to cast something out.
I am sure that this is one of the artworks I will have in my exhibition. I have decided to call it “Hagalaz” after the rune which means hail and rainstorms. In Norse mythology it is linked to the primal forces of the universe and can therefore be unpredictable. It alludes to forces beyond our control. Although tempestuous and possibly negative it represents turmoil that once overcome allows for transformation. I believe that the drip paintings I have been working on represent a stressful time in learning when to let things be. I have tried sometimes to control the uncontrollable. It is crazy how my paintings have had an effect on my mood and I have become quite depressed if I make a mark which I perceive to be unsatisfactory. I believe that through this process I have learnt a valuable lesson in when to step away from a painting and call it finished.
In “The Hidden Order of Art” (1967:5) Anton Ehrenzweig suggests that ” In creativity, outer and inner reality will always be organised together by the same indivisible process. The artist has to face chaos in his work before unconscious scanning brings about the integration of his work as well as of his own personality”.
Marion Milner, in “The suppressed Madness of Sane Men” (1987: 207-215) has pointed out that the erasure of boundaries between inside and out, that is a part of the experience of creating art and of our creative response to it, has something in common with mystical or ecstatic states. If the artwork is perceived to be going badly however in my experience it can induce madness!
I have made new canvases and have begun to paint. This time I am going to resist the urge to over paint the canvases and keep them more minimal. I want to keep the space and leave the pencil markings visible. I want to record my first emotional reactions of the day without over layering it with consecutive emotional states from following moments.
In “The Hidden Order of Art” (1967:21) Anton Ehrenzweig states that “nothing can be deemed insignificant or accidental in a product of the human spirit. and…superficially insignificant or accidental looking detail may well carry the most important unconscious symbolism”. It is interesting that I think this painting expresses my feelings very well. I had not slept well the night before, I will not go into the details but I am going to call this piece “Reconciliation at 4am”.
