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Today seems to be a not-making day so far.
Today is a facilitating the making sort of day.
I was woken by my phone, I was bleary and incoherent, the Travis Perkins man asked
“Where am ya? I got yer wood ‘ere ay I!”
I was in bed. I had asked for an afternoon delivery. I told him, somewhat optimistically, that I could be there in an hour. From horizontal to Dudley in an hour is a stretch, but before I could revise my estimate, he seized upon it, declared:
“Am gooin’ up Sedgely wi’ this sand, an arl be back!”
It has snowed overnight, which doubled my travel to studio time. So I gulped down half a cup of tea, dressed in yesterday’s clothes, didn’t do anything to my hair other than rake my fingers through it ( to be honest, I don’t do much more than this anyway, but it serves the narrative).
I picked my way slowly to the car park, having arrived ten minutes later than the agreed time, then waited another half hour in the shop/gallery for the man and the truck and the boards for my gallery wall. The hugest articulated truck in the world arrived. It won’t fit round the back of the shop, and he was unable to drive onto the pedestrian area at the front of the shop. So he manoeuvred into Farmfoods delivery area, and I pleaded with him, glad that I haven’t had time to put on make up so I looked old and helpless, glad that my knee is sore, the combination of that and my boots limping through the icy pavements forced him to take pity on me. Instead of being able to mechanically hoist the palette into the “site” he split the load, and carried each 4’x8′ board the fifty yards into the shop all by himself. I thanked him profusely, signed the delivery note, refrained from adding kisses, and waved him off to argue with the manager of Farmfoods.
I’m now home, warm and nursing the knee that twisted on the rough icy surface of the car park. My walking is hesitant and frankly, terrified. The thought of injuring this joint further scares me. So I walk stiffly, worried that the next step will leave me disabled and bitter. I’ve got too much to do!
The next job I tackle are the accounts. I’m notoriously bad with numbers. When I go out with my group of friends, when the bill arrives, I thrust my purse at them and scurry off to the loo till the whole traumatic episode is over.
I am convinced that ACE will remove my funding because my adding up is wrong. I have a wonderful “financial advisor” ( my husband Mike) who has managed to keep me solvent for the last 34 years. So I now have a simple system that allows me to keep track of the running total of the whole amount, and for each section of my budget. I use the calculator for the simplest sums, and he checks them anyway. I feel in control, and calm…. Now…. Having had him help me work out the initial budget, and set it out clearly, it isn’t too arduous a task to just keep running totals. So if anyone from ACE is reading this, please be assured all is going smoothly!
My next task is slightly more creative, but not actual making still.
I’ve had a couple of ideas for the bras, but not had time to record them or work them out. So I need to spend a little time with my sketchbook, jotting them down and making notes.
I also need to look at the next couple of songs we will be recording.
As Dan keeps calling me “Boss” I’d better take charge!
This is a new thing too.
The last couple of things I recorded with him, they were my projects, but I was still hesitant about taking charge as Dan was the one that knew what he was doing, I think I deferred to his opinion more than I am inclined to for this. I might not know what I’m doing – or rather how to do it – but I do know what I want. I am more confident about saying no… And more confident in my descriptions of what I do want, even if I have no idea how to achieve it! I think part of this new found confidence and power lies in that money – again that is the thing that has made a difference. I am paying Dan to do this job for me, so I have to tell him what is to be done. Also, Dan is very professional in the way he goes about these things, so I have stepped up my game. Before each session in the studio, I spend some time reading and listening to the song we are going to work on, and build a chart clearly laying out improvements, comments, notes, questions. I post it to whoever we will be working with, to give them time for thought and practice and so on. This hopefully saves studio time.
So. Having done the bits I don’t like, and having got the delivery out of the way, for which I’m now grateful was the morning rather than afternoon, I can put the kettle on and settle down with paper and pen and pencil.