It has been a difficult week, starting back after a long break for Christmas and New Year. For the first time I have not had to work (paid work) through this holiday break and had expected to spend plenty time catching up on studio things and being really productive.
As quite often is the case, things don’t always quite work out the way you had planned. Perhaps the most productive thing I did was writing a review, see here.
It’s been a disappointing week on many levels which whether you want it to or not, really has a massive influence on your ability to work, or work well. It can make you question what you are doing, the reasons and motivations and if it really is good or productive to be following a particular path.
Having confidence in your abilities is so important, as a practicing artist there can be lots of difficult moments in your career, and a strength to draw upon is vital.
The knowledge that you can’t do it all, be involved in everything should be obvious, but it is all too easy to lay pressure on oneself to do so.
Like a recovery from a physical injury, it takes time to build strength and little by little it will come.
Having worked a little on some poster-like drawings, and a few other things before the break, I feel like now a return to beginnings may help this feeling of uncertainty – return to drawing, observing, taking stock and gradually focus on what I want to do for the latter part of the academic year.
I may not be so happy with all of my work to this point, but it has served a purpose. If I can take heart in this, I can find my way again.