The last few weeks of my life have been a bit of a nightmare. Firstly my father was taken seriously ill and nearly a month on is still in hospital, and then a University I contracted (and am still waiting to pay…. I have not received an invoice yet) appeared to try and claim some kind of ownership over my work….. so yes, pretty crappy.
Anyhow, in the middle of all this I had my 2 sessions with the coach Susan Mumford suggested I split my time with, Tamara Gal-On. I must say this proved to be such a brilliant idea on Susan’s part as even though I only had 2 sessions (and an introductory session, so 3 really) with her I found her to be on completely the same wavelength and really very beneficial.
The sessions were conducted over Skype which I found very, very difficult owing to my Skype phobia (I hate cameras…. not using them of course, but being seen through one; this is to do with my BDD). However, Tamara soon put me at my ease.
Between my introductory session with her and my first real session she had prepared a visioning mp3 for me which I was to listen to before networking events and she was keen to ask me how it had gone. Well unbelievably it went very well and the event I used it for I was actually able to talk to people which I am not always great at.
Anyhow…. during our session we discussed my anxiety, perfectionism and my tendency to over think things and to self-sabotage. It was deduced, as I had long suspected, this is all linked in to a fear of failure and an ignoring of my intuition.
Tamara is big on listening to your intuition but more about that later.
It was decided that I needed to action on 3 things before I next spoke to her; these were, contacting the woman who wanted to edit my paper about my groundbreaking (apparently) work; contacting the Canadian organisation who wanted to work with me; and finding people who could act as my magic manager.
What is a magic manager? I hear you ask. Well it is someone, or a couple of people who are in the same field as you and who “get” your work and you get them to either listen to, or send emails on your behalf. So for example, say you really want to go for a commission and the organisation it is with have expressed interest in you; but your nagging voice of doubt starts to scream at you and you end up not doing it:
Well, if that sounds like you (it is definitely me) then you need a “magic manager”. This person does it for you instead and you return the favour.
Coincidentally if anyone is reading this and thinking they could really do with a magic manager then please do get in touch with me as I would like to create a network of those of us who can support each other in this way to supercharge our careers.
Tamara wanted me to email her when I had done these things. I only managed 1 and that was Canada, who coincidentally I have since buggered up possibly through listening to my doubt again…. hopefully it can be rectified.
As I was about to contact the editor I found out that I was possibly being screwed over by a large organisation and that kind of has stressed the hell out of me. Tamara has suggested I find an IP lawyer and try and get some free advice. If any of you know one please tell me as I could really do with talking to them.
So I guess I should probably write about Part 2 on a separate post as this is becoming very long……