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since wednesday i’ve been contemplating the success paradox.  so what do i mean by this?

the key component is the success paradox bit …. and wednesday.

wednesday was notification day for a video showing thing i’d submitted to.  i was excited the hear the news and it never came.  throughout my 12 in 14 blog this not hearing, not being selected,  simply not ….. was the majority result and i’ve had multiple relfections about this in the lead up to finishing 2014.

yesterday was a day that took me outside of my day and it seemed to give me a little extra space to contemplate the lack of response from the opportunity.

i’ve been surprised by where my thoughts sank to.

i considered in what circumstances my video was likely to be accepted and concluded that in the call out the selctors set out the boundaries for their descisions to be made.  my work fell outside of these.  this is an assumption as i have no real evidence.

the work i submitted was made with good intention, had layers of meaning within it and is part of a larger set of thoughts.

the non selection of the work could make it easy for me to take a very negative view of it.  my view of it being influenced by a group of people i have not met, do not know and certainly have not spoken to.

why would i let a group like that influence the way i think about a work i made and stand by?

cliche statement approaching … you need to be bloody minded, tough, resilient to make it in the art world.

oh look there’s nothng there about what the work is like.

again and again for me it comes down to how i see, interpret, react to and think about the world being and this being so much different from those making the opportunities.

and here’s where the recent thinking floats to the surface.

it does not mean that what i make has no value, is meaningless and makes me a failure just because i am not succesful with a submission.  i am not defined by what others think of me and my work, they are merely opinions.

yesterday as i walked round belper i felt empowered by those who had not chosen to show my work.  i felt that what i was considering, reacting to, what i express does have a place somewhere within society.

the success paradox requires me to be patient, keep optimistic, keep expressing, keep showing until such time as someone somewhere sees what i do and has that omg moment … the i have to get this shown moment … the wow this guy has an angle on this i really like as i’ve been waiting to see it or there just hasn’t been anything like it to see.

the more i fail the more i succeed.