As I said in conversation earlier today, the practice of writing, even just a sentence of reflection or a question to self helps in progress and awareness of own work and way of working over-time.  Once started and a habit is made, it is greatly missed on those days its missed. I’ve been unable to do much catching up since the weekend as I’ve worked Tues and Weds with only enough time to do some essential art maintenance..this has been cutting out a rubber in shape of a seedling in pot to use to stamp my business cards (for tomorrow’s 12 artist one day show in Hereford ‘Should we have stayed at home?’) where I’m showing paintings and reading my Border country speech.

A paperwork pile (a real mountain of folders and paper) I’d almost got through on Monday has remained where I left it and I’m nearly through it, but why do I stop when it’s nearly done?  Why does watching an old Red Dwarf episode with my son come first?  (actually I think the laughter has been more important, but I’m sure I’ve wasted time some other way!!)  It will probably only take another half an hour to get it all sorted and out of the way.

So – first day in a few days I’ve got back in shed for more than 20 minutes…I always feel a bit out of sorts and I need to re-ground myself.  Just painted one of my mini calico boards and that is what is pulling me now.   Managing being excited by new things, offers, discoveries is a massive energy drain, the only way I know of handling it well is to delay my reaction/decision on exciting things by booking them in at a later date to do or consider doing. Often, by the time comes round I have moved on and think about it in an entirely different way.  I am constantly trying to handle wanting to do everything RIGHT NOW! I am not sure why I am like this…awareness of mortality?  A feeling like I am constantly on the edge of something?  … I would like to know if anyone else experiences this or if this is particular to me.

One time wasting activity I know I do is reading about how to gets things done – other people can’t really help with this, some techniques help, but really you’ve got to start with how you are, and how you work.  I have stamina over the long term, but my way of working is intensive and a 7/8 hour day at work, though I am not working any harder or better than any of my colleagues, I think I am far more exhausted by it. Maybe it’s the holding myself in (not physically!) – though I am not really doing that, I think it is the matter of hours in a row of concentration and listening out for people.  I find I am constantly having difficulty understanding what people say, sometimes it is not understanding the accent, but others it is that I am focussed so hard that I simply can’t hear them, it’s like the sound of their voice has gone through a distortion filter.  It is weird, really unhelpful, and embarrassing at times.  I often don’t understand the simplest of phrases.  How can this be?

I saw the Lost Library – Border country wheelbarrow today at Hereford College of Arts, it’s wonderfully rusty and I love the front wheel.  Took a few more photos – the students are going to start on it later this month.

Popped in to the college library and came away with lovely large book full with Clare Woods paintings. Title’Clare Woods Strange Meetings’.  It is fascinating reading and perusing. I first came across Clare as a speaker at my degree first year, first month I think, at the Drawing Symposium and was fascinated by her imagery and technique of working in gloss and later oils on aluminium. She is prolific and her work is both bold and subtle, she generally works at a large scale, scaled up from photographs.