We spoke to no body, saw no one and walked together in total silence. Cosmo in his world and me in mine. Just walking in silence and thinking things over….and over.
I don’t know what Cosmo thinks about, but he is always busy looking and searching for something. We are comfortable together just walking, him…always in front and when a decision is needed on direction he lets me make it. I know these woods very well, and I have a good sense of direction in real space, that sense of direction is missing when it comes to inner space!
Where am I going? Why am I doing it? Who will want to see it anyway? What is it all about?
I have actually started painting!
‘Painting’, I had forgotten what a soul searching activity that is! Completely absorbing and a constant conversation to justify little decisions. Just go’ free form’ and let go, spontinaity. It’s already a concisions decision, I’ve already decided to go free form in that particuklar part of the painting, so even spontiaity is controlled!….so many little balances and micro decisions…for what? Why… it goes on.
My paints…they behave differently from proprietary brands, because they are low tech and use inferior pigments. I seem to have to paint in a way to accommodate their short comings. This suddenly seems very limiting, but when I started the limitation was the attraction! Now I want the control that tube paint offers.
May be I don’t really, and do you know what…..there is no rush here…..this is a long term experiment. I say to myself let’s just make some paintings and move along, things will progress and unfold in time, let a body of work accumulate I say to myself.
I feel that tube paints are better for so many reasons from colour to control and strength, what was I doing trying to reinvent the wheel here?
NO HORSES carved into a log placed across path. I can read it clearly as the bark on the log has dropped off leaving the letters very clear….What it should say is no motor bikes.
Then I begin to mentally load my car with the tools and materials I will need for work in the morning. Carrying on with the installation of the Nunhead Mosaic. I will probably be another two days before this is finished , and then after that I have a public seat/ bench to make. I will be making this from wood used for groynes along the coast. The city council are opening their stores on Wed for me to take what I need.
So my new paintings will sit at the back of my mind for bit.