I keep dreaming that I’m typing great witticisms and brilliant insights into my blog. If only it were true. I can’t even remember them in the morning. At least I am brilliant in my sleep I suppose.
I found this, in my handwriting in a notebook, which was encouraging: ‘sometimes when I’m writing, reading or thinking about art I get a sensation in my head as if a blast of wind has briefly lifted a lid on my brain and I have a sense of a possibility of seeing/thinking about things differently. Then it’s gone.’ I’m pretty sure I must have written it, as I certainly understand the sentiment!
Below, in a different pen it said this, (which I will put into practice soon – probably alone in the living room…)
‘Hard Times Require Furious Dancing’, Alice Walker 2007
When I’m incubating an idea, preparing to transform it into a reality, I wish I could skip the stage I’m in now – the ‘oh god what was I thinking, this is a terrible, boring, pointless idea that no-one is interested in – and I’ve got to force myself to see it through’ stage.
I keep wanting to just give up, but then have to face the stark reality that that means giving up on everything I’ve been working on for the past several years as all my ideas are facets of one driving force.
I like the shiny exciting glint of a new idea feeling much better than this.
A cup of tea and spot of ‘hanging out the washing’ should see me through in the short term. I think that’s one of my top ten strategies – washing as art practice. Good job there are loads of dirty clothes to go at.
In the interest of balance and truth I feel obliged to report that today I did ‘one of my routines’ as they are fondly known in our house.
‘I can’t cope, I do everything in this house, I never get a day off, it’s not normal, something needs to change, I don’t know how to do it differently, it’s just chaos all the time, go away daughter I’m talking to your dad, it’s not possible to do less, well that’s easy for you to say, yes I know we’ve been over all this before. a lot.’
I’m going to try keeping my work to 4 days a week, and spend a day a week getting on top of home and life.
Any bets on how long it’ll last?
Tons of stuff going on. The curator of Mother/Mother, jennifer wroblewski, has put me in touch with two fascinating women – Sharon Thomas is an artist based in Scotland and also taking part in the show. myrel chernick is a curator, currently working on a book – check out http://www.myrelchernick.com/maternalmetaphors. I’m filming at ACE Clothes in Leeds this afternoon to gather footage for my installation ‘inside out’. I’m researching artists who are mothers for a curatorial proposal – some inspiring role models are coming to light. Might help challenge ignorant assumptions about what sort of art mothers make. Got a meeting booked at ACE to talk about APT-Artists Parents Talking. A load of new schools to work with as a creative agent. And my heads still spinning after an afternoon discussion at The Brunei Gallery in London with a group of anthropologists, curators, art historians. No wonder I’m not sleeping well!
me: look – all you have to do is stand in the changing room, with your jeans round your ankles for 10 minutes while I take some photos
older daughter: muuum. you are SO embarassing.
me: I’ll buy you a milk shake. Think of it like work placement – artist’s assistant.
older daughter: I do not want to be an artist mum.
me: Go on – it will be fun – a day out together.
Older daughter:I’ll do it if no-one’s looking. If anyone comes in the shop, don’t talk to me.
me: deal.
older daughter: humph
