I’ve been thinking about the performance element of ‘Left Behind’ today. I’ve made a test piece to make sure that I can achieve the right effect technically – but the actual performance or action remains vague.
Here are my current ideas: I know that I want to embody the character of a woman who is looking for a way for a change to happen. The film is silent, so she has no voice, and perhaps a limited sense of her options. She is carrying heavy shopping bags full of grit and salt, and sits in the coffee lounge initially looking defeated. I want her to go on a quiet internal journey, and then to leave the gallery.
The film will be projected onto the corner of the gallery where it was filmed, so it produces a life size but insubstantial character in the room.
There are so many layers and levels of thought involved in this part of the installation – the more research and thought I give it, the more paralysed I feel. I know that ultimately I need to let go of all the rational cerebral processes, and do what feels right, but I don’t know what that is at the moment, so it’s a bit nerve-wracking.
I think I’m feeling a bit uptight since moving house and meeting work deadlines (for Creative Partnerships and engage) so I can’t easily shift into the soft focus state I need to really work creatively.
This is a constant challenge for me (and probably other artists?) – managing the shift from being an effective functioning person who understands and can conform to the things that most people see as important – punctuality, clarity, reliability, meeting deadlines, sticking to plans – and being able to shift into a state where none of these things restrict your sense of creative possibilities.
I'm filming at the gallery on 23rd June, so it'd better come together then!
