At the front of a very long queue of traffic, in conversation with the man in the toll booth at the Humber Bridge.
man: £2.70 love
me: oh dear… the thing is, I don’t actually want to cross the bridge…I took the wrong turning at the..
man: this is a toll bridge. You need to give me £2.70
me: yes I see. It’s just that, I don’t actually have any money, and I don’t want to cross the bridge. I went wrong at the roundabout and…
man: all the cars are waiting.
me: (wobbly voice). Oh dear. What should I do? You see I couldn’t turn round because of the central reservation and I’ll be late to pick up my daughter if I have to go all the way over the bridge and back and I’ve got no money and…
man: you can pay by card
me: (all attempts at assertiveness dissolved). oh. Yes. of course. That’s what I should do…. (tearily) can I have a return ticket?
Or at least that was the version of events in my head as I sat helplessly in the queue. Then I spotted a gap in the central reservation, hurrah, yahoo!! A way out, and better still no need for assertiveness or confrontation.
I blame it on The Archers – it was Annette’s latest love interest that distracted me.
