Carpet captures me from the wrong angle
Day 11
Portsmouth – Cambridge – Portsmouth
20th August 2013
So this is it?
last trip from this current round of funding but ‘not never’ again thinking strengthens me – I can taste it happening – hold it between my fingers – i know its not an ‘ending’ as such but the start of something further
there are other aspects of learning, showing and documenting that will carry on – booked in already – I will jot think its finalized – that would hurt – esp as i’m ‘bellow par’ at the moment
think
think
think hard
put it in place
in the bigger
picture
I know that now – it will continue – this cheers me out of my stark landscapes mindset I am caught in – besides Tuesday is widening I can touch it – not the largest day of the week but on its way – cycles of felt time important – grounding me
Lucky I don’t need to leave first thing – head at 8 am for train hoping for my usual seat – please my usual seat – yes safe
Eye Blink
Faster as
Sun
Flickers
Everclean
we pass
Thru Forrest
Floored
With
Escaped
Bamboo
Evergreen
As
Wicked
Thoughts
Circle too be
Neverseen
again
Arrive, last off train and descend into the depths after contracting a ham and cheese sandwich for the next train
London underground is not good – just after rush hour but still full of passengers with bags – most not used to underground etiquette – I am pressed pushed then horror of horrors breath in others loud full perfume – sensory overloads and taste flash across my minds eye – not even NC headphones can save me
then suddenly off this train with relief
change trains to KingsX without problem – I quite like Warren Street
up in air – indicator board sends me to a new platform – unusual
New train – seated just – full – hot – noisy as the landscape flashes past fast non stop trip – then without blinking I’m here in hot Cambridge
choice bus or taxi – the meetings are at a new place – always a daunting experience for an aspie.
Bus pillar to post – tesco stop nearest followed journey on IOS
Walk winding fences grey soils arrivals
Seen am early still in travelling teeshirt – introduced by Simon – request toilet – changed new person with sociability injection
Tour of new space – chat – konfirm – look about – stones – cut flints in soil obvious – carpet tales and questions – and uneaten foods – a pear – i choose a ‘safe’ pear – surely untouched by crustaceans
then the meeting i have come for – arrivals – Guests from the Royal College of Art, Cambridge and Paintings in Hospitals.
Debate – ‘What art do Autistics like’
enjoy – listen – learn – add – their tour afterwards as we still debate
Then realize the carpet is wrong from this angle
suddenly
some realize
they need to go – train timed close – rather than bus I take the opportunity of a lift from Simon to the station – good call – others rush leaving us to freely chat only to be cruelly curtained by a bus where we stop imperfectly – thankyous and goodbye before it registers on me
sit with platform wonders
train – see – write – change – underground hell again but was primed this time – shell – train – gaze – re-dream – home ?
Crows dance And mime
Grey soil songs
Their grown Staves
flecked with flint
from seas shallow
Still warm to my touch
After 70 million years
Lost lake dreams
Hand dug flint chalk
Yew
conker
Stone
path angle
Green wall vision
Tourmaline carpets
now Seeing autism serene
