feeling better about my practice, i take to my keyboard to further practice writing about it. steady progression within the non linear film commission makes me feel good about that part of my practice.
i pause to stare out of the window and try to find some inspiration to find the words to further unpack my week.
i watch a crow land on the top of the large tree i’ve been watching grow for about three years. i assume its a sycamore, although it might be an oak.
i’ve been reflecting today about how my practice facets orbit asymmetrically.
holistically the facets are important to me as they all tap into me doing things i like, enjoy and make me feel good when things work well. it’s rather like a toddler demonstrating different schema types within a free play session.
i strive to improve my confidence and this is not without some difficult periods of time. the plus point of those times is clarity of vision of potential.
something else on my radar this week has been yet more consideration of material used in realisation of ideas. currently i’m experimenting with code realised in a browser. the images in this post coming from forays into code this week. they might yet end up in the same space.
facebook this week served up a video of spoon carving and since watching it i’ve been feeling lit up. i’ve spent time on ebay researching available axes. the notion of spoon carving sits well in my making practice and i have got some experience of spoon carving via a workshop a couple of years ago. i like the thought of how my voluntary woodland management work might lead me to some material to be used to create spoons. i’d love to be able to give some spoons to those i volunteer with.
another aspect of my making is my relationship with digital making. an opportunity has been flagged up to me and i’ve been unclear if i would put a proposal together. as we head towards the weekend i am a lot more optimistic that i have something worth writing about.
the question i ask of myself now is do i make an application ?
the other question i ask of myself is do you need to set some personal targets in the three aspects of your practice so you have a means to gauge your own progression?
earlier today i felt i had an answer to the last question and i can share now with you that what i struggle with is keeping the feeling long enough to see the thing through.
i remember my disability. i remember how this is masked when i’m working within a group where what i need to achieve is defined by the group. i see in the words what i write the struggle i have working on my own. i remember how small achieveable tasks and their completion can lead to improved self esteem and confidence.
i have the means to makes things better for myself. i just need to practice them and remember its a practice.
mentally i wag a finger – not the best thing to do and somehow easing off the hard line and being more encouraging of myself is going to help me.
its been good to write this. i’m more in touch with how when all is ok i somehow am less able to see it.
i begin to meditate, to feel the seat below me, my knee upon the other and my foot on the ground.
take it slow.