when all my thoughts combine to create no way forward i know it’s time to curl up on the sofa for a few hours and hide under a blanket.
now having done that i can continue to try to reflect upon the month and where it leaves me.
so far i am being unsuccessful again at nearly all the written applications i’ve been making. there was the interview for one opportunity for which i wasn’t selected. for the most recent application i’m hoping to be able to get some written feedback to help with the ongoing campaign to improve in this area.
while under the blanket i practice near meditative breathing to slow my heart rate and venture towards sleep. this in turn calms the fatigue driven irrational thoughts i have about myself, my practice and my future. sure i’m struggling a little but its way to early to totally write me off.
with a calmer mind it becomes possible to find a way out. always this is teppered with frustrations and disappointments – again as i vere back towards a self denigrating inner monologue.
so having spilled the inner beans i return to public facing where i am right now despite all of the self doubt currently at times over running me.
i’m still working on the non linear project for the soon in the new year to be open museum of making. the non linear project spans 4 years of the making of the museum of making and will be on permanent display on the second floor of the museum.
i’ll soon be visiting the site of the museum while under control of the main building contractor for the last time. after christmas i’ll follow the recant of remaining collection items and prepare the software of the project for its hardware home.
when not working on the non linear project i am starting to ask myself the big questions around what next, how to build on the experience and how might i evolve my practice and how i talk about it.