the view from the dining room table today is one of calm trees and clear blue sky, the frost on the roofs slowly disappearing from view as the sun slowly transits out of sight. my view is accompanied by the sounds from this cercle video made in september this year.
what of this year i ask? i’ve played my part in the covid-19 pandemic that has dominated our lives in the uk since march. we all have experienced this in our own way. what’s mine been like?
for the first few months i was strong, keeping positive and carrying on. this view would later in the year be challenged as i fell into a massive corona coaster dip.
returning to the view from the window and listening to the mix in my headphones i can feel the emotions rising as i consider recent weeks – emotionally difficult for me and those around me. i managed to maintain doing things to keep a stasis. i wanted to keep myself out of a breakdown and i did.
it doesn’t really matter what i write now – it’s new year’s eve 2020 and the sun is out and we’re in a warm dry house. the animals are happy and fed, the girls are safe and probably still asleep. i’m still working on a commission originally scheduled for completion in september 2020 and in all the mixed up ness of 2020 – made an interactive documentary about a community of walker’s experiences of walking through a pandemic. the work has been featured on a blog by a recently graduated ma student in brazil.
there’s been times this year when i felt very disconnected from the processes i was involved with in january and february. as a result i’ve reflected that it hasn’t been possible to micro manage the pandemic and how it affects us all.
yesterday with the announcements of tier 4 restrictions spreading and the oxford astra zenaca vaccine being approved i did have a feeling of hope, optimism and most importantly purpose about myself. this felt good – haven’t felt like that for more weeks than i would like to admit too.
i found ten pence today. shortly after finding it, i lost a pound coin. i managed to laugh and see the beauty in the reaction. the pound had popped out the shopping trolly and rolled unseen under the stack of other trollies. my 2020 being summed up in a trolly shelter at morrisons.
i’m at the point of acceptance of how things are
how things might be in the coming months.
my musical discovery playlist on you tube ballooned this year with so much happening on line.