will i ever become comfortable with airing my thoughts in the public sphere?

i ask this of myself a few days into the belper art trail. a point in time in which i am feeling the affects of installing the work into the non traditional art venues in belper.

i also ask this at a time when i feel what i’ve done is being ignored. i have no evidence of this and i am aware that my feeling comes from being outside what is considered an art world.

our venture has been to do something of value with visual art to be the bread to the food festival sandwich filling.

after attempting a pilot version in 2011 we realised that adopting something to respond to would make the art trail a sustainable and interesting option. we picked the centenary of the town’s east mill as a basis of the theme this year. the call out asked the artist to submit a work that was based on recontextulisaed work from their practice timeline. i was interested in investigating contemporary history.

as the planning evolved we got several members of the county council cultural service involved, the north mill to dsiplay works and give a discount to trail followers. the library let us help celebrate their 75th anniversary by displaying a work made by the drop inn centre and we’ve hung all the submissions to the murmation project in the oxfam shop in king street. the murmation project includes work by david riley and alex pearl. and we have 7 other venues showing work by 9 other artists.

i’m proud of what we’ve done.

we’re also making a well dressing as a participatory activity and the outcome will be on disply during the second week of the trail, part of the town’s well dressing festival.

and you know what? i think we’ve not shouted enough about what we’ve done.

i’m aware that i am disabled towards a formal language with an art sphere and i’m aware that my writing style has been described as chatty.

i’m also aware that we set out to see if it is possible with willing contributors to mount an exhibition of works around a route of premises in a town.

i will share that i understand why funding is important for a project that one puts ones heart into. it’s important for the reason that one has something to show for the effort. i can understand why there is an outcry about lack of funding, because so few people appreciate effort put into by single minded individuals.

it’s an issue of ownership of a sphere of art and the possibility of there being more than one sphere and each sphere being supportive of the other. it’s about a human spirit of praise for something that isn’t one’s immediate interest.

it’s about the difference between open and closed.

i’m aware today i am feeling mentally drained by the process.

i am however also aware that my effort as part of a group has connected to hundreds of people.

so in answer to my opening question, probably not as i’m always so wiped out upon completing something that my writing is tainted by tiredness and if i wait until i’m not tired, my objectivity has wained.

i conclude i’m not well suited to blogging and as such will continue to do so and accept that that is the way it is.