I am really not winning here.I have spent all morning organising the Sevenoaks Art Forum that I run.
By the time I have walked the dog in our beautiful snow filled woods this afternoon the light will be going and I will feel more like collapsing with a cup of coffee than starting work.
Facilitating other artists again – I love it, I think I do it well, but its a sort of character weakness in the end. A sort of wanting to care for, or be loved/liked for…..any one else a sufferer?
Don’t do it I suppose. Great things do come from it; an artist network, an artist/curator/organiser profile for myself, great friends, opportunities….but it is so time hungry on one’s own practice.
At the last SVAF meeting one of the artists approached me with a wasp nest…they all know I am quite barking. Beautiful. Pink and grey stripes of wasp made paper mache.
The nest is now esconsed in a bell jar and I am happily painting dead wasps bright red.
I am not yet sure why, or where I am going with the work; but there is somethig here about the vulnerability of home. The nest is disintegrating and the original inhabitants have turned in my head into aggressors.
Maybe the Holocaust connection again. It surfaces unbidden after periods of absence I find……….
Ok.
It seems like a long time since I was here but actually it is only ten days or so ago.
Since then?
I have decided to exchange my large studio for a substantially smaller one in the same studio block. Change over day is April 1st. I have closed my brain to all the inherent problems of quarts into pint pots………too scary and it saps time and energy for any work. Doubtless it will all be a bit disastrous. I don’t like the big space – no light and slightly sinister…..the small one is a bit too small, but I do now have a space to work in at home as well………
The Farningham Hobby Horse Project is getting back on the road….Ros Barker and I have had all 120 out of storage and given them a once over. Wind and rain have left their mark so thats another job before they get exhibited in March- together with all the PR and so on that takes so long…
The moth wing paintings are so slow- three a day maybe……….is it worth it? No idea yet. I like the medatative , repetititive side of it but you do have to stay focused or it can catch you out…
I tend to stop and drink hot chocolate – gives me a buzz and warms me up…
I am trying to keep down a rising sense of panic re my solo show at the moment. June seemed so far away in November but my hefty dose of flu, a sick elderly mum [ongoing] and setting myself such slow, intricate projects has seen the time shorten considerably. If I don’t work full on then it won’t be done.
I have been invited to send a proposal into ‘Telling Stories – Hastings’ which is wonderful -something I would really like to get involved with. Last years ‘Telling Stories – Margate’ was such a great show …
The proposal has to be in by the beginning of March which has taken me by surprise as the show is not until September. In my brain I had compartmentalised everything I am doing – and filed this to start after June…
So – ideas heavy and time poor at the moment………..ideas keep pouring in like water. Probably because I am working daily again. Nothing for it but to run a sketchbook and hope the ideas stay fresh………
Am I the only one who needs to live to be 100 to get it all done? Maybe studio assistants are the way to go; aka our Damian…
Edit… Edit….
Now – how to tackle five delicious moth boxes I have been given- where the contents are decaying into dust?
just beautiful………….
I may be a little mad.
