3 well deserved days off work (part normal days off plus one days leave) a new mattress and a dose of antibiotics and I’m feeling half human again.
I’ve enjoyed the fresh air, doing things in my own time and generally just catching up with ‘stuff’. Times like this always lead me through the regular routine of ‘Can I afford to go back to part time work? ‘And every time, after making endless calculations, I realise ‘No I can’t’.
Working in the arts, my pay isn’t that great, but to even drop just one day a week, I would need to earn in the region of £3500 per annum from my own work. Can I do it? Errmmmm… simple answer is that I don’t have enough faith in myself to believe that I can.
It’s far, far easier to have a guaranteed income, no matter how low.
So, knowing that I can (and also because I’d been suffering from a bad back) I bought a mattress. I can do things like this occasionally without breaking the bank, so I have to remember this when my thoughts turn yet again to the dream of making a living as an artist.
Just existing and actually enjoying life are two different things.
So art wise, I’ve been finishing off work that I’d started and getting ideas together for new projects. I’ve updated the group website http://sciartistprojects.wordpress.com/ and chased after people about their work, vowing yet again not to work with groups.
Of course, this only ever lasts a short while until I see the potential of new collaborations.
I saw some exhibitions….. its taking me absolutely ages to get round the Biennial as I’ve been so tired lately, but yesterdays jaunt got me up to the ‘Old Blind School’ to see what had been labelled ‘the best of the Biennial’. Hmmmmm… I thought it was crap. Very poor…awful…and relieved to find that so many others thought the same.
I finish work earlier tomorrow, so I’ll head up to see the John Moores. It might give me some faith in art again.
Finally, Oh yes, I marked an email I get from an artist about exhibitions as ‘SPAM’. If I was interested, I would have signed up to be on a mailing list. I’m not interested, and gloating about being in some trivial little exhibition is a little sad and it puts other artists under pressure thinking that we haven’t been working hard enough.
I just want to do things in my own time…..oh here we go….where’s that calculator again?