at the embarkation of a fresh training programme i recognise that when i have emotional energy in response to something, i’d best use it to produce something.

a cathartic process with intention to record something for later reflection.

i watched the culture show’s 30 minutes about the royal academy summer show.

“you have to be as tough as old boots to be an artist” Norman ackroyd.

innocent words at the time.

personally i know i’m not very tough. however from a process of engagement and doing my toughness can be found as a result of the actions of others. today i need to make a phone call to speak with someone about something that has disempowered me from the process.

in these early stages of disempowerment i am aware that this hurt is already having an impact on my toughness. i am also aware that as this feeling disappates that there is every possibility of it happening again, unless i adapt the process by which i get myself into these situations.

i ask of myself to return to these words but not to this situation of feeling disempowered by the actions of others.

(footnote: of the two videos, the intention is to watch the gary numan video after the brazilian video. in the edit screen they are in that order however in the browser they apprear the other way round)


i’ve spent a few hours in the presence of runners taking part in a relay event over a 3 . something long course. as i wait for pasta to cook i’m left with an over riding question…

how can i get my adrenalin fix from what i do / make ?

i ask it of myself with 3 potential opportunities in mind:

the pop up exhibition proposal

the experimental work with intentional audience engagement through their interaction/participation

the examining and exploration of a space in a public building with the intention of re-energising the space to engage a wider and larger number of people than currently engage with the space.

as i stood watching the runners warm up i realised of myself that a weakness of mine is in the warming up for something, i find it difficult to write about it in the public sphere which in turn holds the project back because i hold it too close to myself and ultimately choke the idea.

my training programme could do with some tweaks.

i hope to see some improved performance results.