at the embarkation of a fresh training programme i recognise that when i have emotional energy in response to something, i’d best use it to produce something.
a cathartic process with intention to record something for later reflection.
i watched the culture show’s 30 minutes about the royal academy summer show.
“you have to be as tough as old boots to be an artist” Norman ackroyd.
innocent words at the time.
personally i know i’m not very tough. however from a process of engagement and doing my toughness can be found as a result of the actions of others. today i need to make a phone call to speak with someone about something that has disempowered me from the process.
in these early stages of disempowerment i am aware that this hurt is already having an impact on my toughness. i am also aware that as this feeling disappates that there is every possibility of it happening again, unless i adapt the process by which i get myself into these situations.
i ask of myself to return to these words but not to this situation of feeling disempowered by the actions of others.
(footnote: of the two videos, the intention is to watch the gary numan video after the brazilian video. in the edit screen they are in that order however in the browser they apprear the other way round)