if i were a runner in training for an endurance event like a 10k road race, my preparations would regularly break my muscles by exercising them as they get stronger through the process of repair and rebuilding.
after i came out of today’s meeting i felt broken and torn apart. i found a place in the sun to drink coffee and start to repair myself.
during the meeting i noted that questions not asked of me everyday are really difficult to answer and a place in which to talk about this would be most welcome. i hope to be going to Birmingham in the next few weeks to be able to do this.
this evening i feel tired after exercising.
this evening in this moment the thought of running the 10k is the last thing i want to do.
i do wonder if in the meeting my talking about a 10k was actually pushed to be a half marathon and i simply wasn’t ready for the extra effort required.
have i pushed myself or actually been pushed a little too far?
time is needed to be able to answer that.
and in healing, will i be stronger?
do i give into the feeling that i’m very ordinary.
i’ve been looking at a 10k not a 5k. it is after all about ambition.
so is my skill up to my ambition?
do i just want to project manage something or is it really about realising an artistic vision? (even thought this afternoon i couldn’t simply answer that question… about what is my artistic vision.)
more questions that time is required to answer.
i accept and acknowledge that i’ve practiced hard today and as a result of that should be curled up with some moving image and a beer, as i have no capacity left today to do anything else.
perhaps endurance running and artist practices aren’t so far apart.