Back with more to say it seems, already feeling that I’m reaping the benefits of a return to blogging. When a busy family life and illness conspires to keep you out of the studio, it feels good to maintain some sort of connection; it’s what I use this blog for most, I think – like a kind of hello from the sidelines.
Comments left by other artists in response to my blog mean a lot to me – often kind, considered and just plain friendly, they can act as a real source of comfort and yet simultaneously, throw up all sorts of questions and alternative ways of seeing and thinking. It’s very easy for thoughts to stagnate when working in a vacuum and I’m reminded once again of the many advantages of blogging; writing here is as much about connections and community as it is about self-promotion.
The comments left on my blog for this particular week have got me thinking about the sorting process.
Why I do it is clear. The sorting is an integral part of my practice and a necessary process to go through in order to unearth and reacquaint myself with the collected objects and assorted paraphernalia – essentially, the raw material for my work.
How I sort in the studio is another matter …
I’ve been thinking about patterns that are repeated – these intermittent periods, one of which I’m experiencing right now, when I fret about the amount of stuff I have and allow myself to feel completely overwhelmed by the sheer mass of it. I’m talking here about emotional as well as physical mass, of course and am acutely aware of the additional weight of emotional baggage stored away in a lot of the boxes – that’s the overwhelming part for me.
Sitting around worrying about all these things isn’t conducive to getting on with generating work and historically, it’s kept me away from the studio for longer periods than I’d like. Displacement, perhaps? Self-preservation, maybe? Who knows … but recognising the pattern of behaviour at least means that I know the problem isn’t insurmountable – I’ve been here before, and so am aware that the best strategy for overcoming it, is to just get myself back into the studio again – tidy it up and return it to being a space I can work in.
I embraced the chaos of it in the few weeks leading up to the Christmas – like my friend said, it felt like a ‘really alive’ space – but it got too cluttered by the end and I wasn’t able to see the woods for the trees. There’s probably a case for loosening up my control over how orderly I keep my studio space in the future but more about that another time. For now, it’s about getting rid of the worst of the mess and starting to produce work again. New year, new beginnings – I have no idea what it will bring but my hope is that I will stay curious and open to any opportunities sent my way.
