Well… the surgery was cancelled at the last minute, (I won’t bore you with the details) so I am now in a state of limbo. All that preparation at home and in the studio now has me in a sort of holding pattern. My studio is clear, and handed over to Alice, my freezer is full of pre-cooked food, the house is clean and tidy, the washing up to date. My diary is empty. So what to do now?
I had piled up a load of books for post-op reading. One of which I have now read (the daft frothy fiction one for easy reading) and will need to get another for when I go in next time. But the others are sat on the desk, waiting. But somehow I can’t bring myself to open them. I haven’t got the head for it yet.
I also heard yesterday that one of my songwriting/musician friends has died. This has completely knocked me for six. I am devastated and keep having little cries about him. He was a wonderful kind, generous, gentle and talented man. I admired him greatly and he will be sorely missed. He was a co-writer for some of my Nine Women songs, and played bass and mandolin for a few recordings too. He accompanied me on a live local radio programme at the time. I was so nervous about it, but he was so reassuring and supportive. He was in the band at the start too, and helped form the way we are. I feel privileged to have known him and worked with him, and I can’t believe I will never see him again, or hear him play live… or have a hug and a drink with him. The world is a poorer place without him in it.
So. I am not in a place mentally where I can do anything much creatively, although I do feel I could write some lyrics about my friend. But they will probably be mawkish and sentimental. But I should just do it.
Three of my small drawings on fabric have been selected for the RBSA Drawing Prize Exhibition… I have tried to write a short statement thing about six times and just can’t get it right. The phrase “out of sorts” comes to mind…
