Sometimes, it dawns on you that a change has happened. This weekend has felt like that. It feels like a sudden change, but actually it has been gradual. Is there a more positive metaphor than “the straw that broke the camel’s back”? Today I am an artist. Last week I was calling myself an artist, but I could always hear someone giggling. A few months ago I felt happy calling myself an artist/teacher, and the giggling about that was fading. A year ago the artist/teacher tag was a struggle. Three years ago I’d have heard guffaws at the prospect of calling myself an artist/teacher. I didn’t know really what I was… No… I knew I was an artist. But when people asked me, I couldn’t say the word. I used to shuffle around it a bit.
This last week, I have been talking about my work, the ideas, the process and the product of my thoughts. People have listened, nodded, written down the pearls of wisdom that have fallen from my mouth (snigger snigger). Other people have started sentences with “What Elena has done here is…” and said all sorts of wonderful things.
It has been a weird week. I know it is unusual, and that this sort of concentrated me me me art activity will not happen often. I am absolutely drained, and as you can see from the previous post, at times struggling to string together a sentence.
So if you don’t mind, I’m going to selfishly revel in the feeling for a while.
Next week I’m back in school, shuffling paper and mixing paint and trying to explain why shoving clay up your nose is a bad idea. I love it. But this last 6 weeks have been the best summer holiday yet. I start the term at school, and at university, teaching and learning, with renewed vigour and a drive that I can’t explain very clearly. I’m a woman in a hurry, but I don’t know what towards.
It’s been a really good day, and I’m exhausted!
I’ve managed to plaster fabric over all sorts of unexpected things, and the space looks most interesting! I’ll post a few photos for you to see what I’ve been up to.
I’ve met loads of interesting people and seen lots of interesting work.
But the most interesting thing has been what has happened in my head… I’ve been using the materials I usually cover sheds with, inside, rather than outside. As I’ve been working I’ve had loads of ideas what I might do next. I feel a long session with my sketch book coming on. As long as it doesn’t lie to me.
Wow!
What started out as a simple photo shoot (despite my state of panic, it was fairly simple) turned into an afternoon of media delights! A tv production company turned up too, to film footage to put together a short pilot for channel 4.
So we had a day of interviews, retakes, wide shots, close ups (NOT TOO CLOSE!) music, coffee pots, chocolate brownies and a lot of laughter too… and oh how I wished I had dusted my studio!
The sun shone, albeit through patchy cloud. The quilts were strewn about the lawn. The shed looked great with its halo of freshly planted pansies. Dan sang a couple of songs in my garden.
I feel a book launch/broadcast garden party coming on!
When I work out how to do it, I may add a short “making of” type video.
Slept like a baby for the first time in ages, woke up with the mother of all headaches… too much caffeine I feel!
I still feel I’m in the midst of the businessy stuff. The photo shoot of the shed in my garden is happening tomorrow (pray for a nice dry day). When this was originally organised it was going to take place in June. My garden is a bit ramshackle, but in June it is glorious, this week at the tail end of August it’s a mess. So we’ve spent the bank holiday weekend making everything look falsely pretty in the vicinity of the shed at least. Pansies in pots abound! My husband is mystified by me wanting to make the rest of the garden look nice too “they won’t photograph the bit by the kitchen window will they?” No, they won’t. But I want ALL the garden to look nice, so I feel ok about showing it to people I haven’t met before. The heap of rubbish (waiting for a skip we haven’t organised yet) has to be hidden behind the cherry trees. The white plastic mouldy manky chairs are hiding by the aforementioned kitchen window…they’ll eventually go into the skip too.
Today I have had a similarly manic day in the house, doing all the housework I’ve managed to avoid doing over the last 6 weeks. My 16 year old son thinks I’ve lost my mind. I’ve done half the ironing, but had to hide the rest. The vacuum cleaner now won’t fit in the cupboard under the stairs because I’ve hidden all the other junk there… it may end up in my car. It feels like it did when we had the house on the market then took it off because we could bear the stress of tidiness no longer.
I suspect the focus of the mania will shift to my person tomorrow. I will try to tame my sheep/hedge/brillo-pad-like hair. I shall wear some distracting red lipstick. I will find something suitably bohemian-but-not-mad to wear, possibly worrying about whether it clashes with the shed (or the lipstick).
Oh, and I got the residency! So on Friday and Saturday I will be transforming a project space in the White Tree Studios as part of the Junction Contemporary Arts Festival in Chapel Ash, Wolverhampton, so if you are around, feel free to come and say hello!
Back to work on Monday… will be glad of the rest!
I know artists use their sketch books in many different ways. Mine contains writing as well as quick sketches, detailed visual plans of ideas, photographs and half baked ideas thought about in the wee small hours, some of which I’m convinced are genius at 4 in the morning, and bound to make my fortune, which turn out to be mindless drivel by 9.30. However, my sketch books are the repository (or depository – my dictionary tells me they are the same thing, but I’m not convinced) of all my thoughts.
A couple of ideas have been meandering through these books for about 6 months, waiting for me to have the time to try them out.
The first is the making of paper clothing. This concept seems, in my book, to be fully formed and sensible. I have explained why I want them, how they fit with my thinking and what they will look like. As far as the book is concerned they are a Great Idea. Pfft. Are they my a^&e! I made some and they are rubbish. They are perfect in every way I intended, but they don’t work in reality. I’m holding them and they are a nonsense. I hate them. They don’t work. Bloody Tosh!
The second is mutant clothing. You take all sorts of identifiable bits of clothing and stitch the bits that fit next to each other, together. Easy! Looks great in my book. You should see the drawings… I’d show you, but I’m embarrassed that I thought this such a Fabulous Concept. More nonsense, and I’ve ruined a couple of quite decent items in trying to make it work. What a waste of an afternoon!
Frustration has set in. The sketch books that lie to me have been cast across the room. I’ve got other things to sew and make and draw and write and sing, but these were the things I had set aside time to work on. I’m so disappointed. I’m off to put the kettle on again.
(just added some photos)
