Threads

I’ve hung “Are You Listening?” up in school. The children loved them, made up stories about what the adult that made the hand marks was saying to the child, searched for the marks, twirled them and spoke to them. I should have shipped in a bunch of children for the assessment!

Seeing them in a child space, rather than an adult space was interesting too, where they could fit the furniture, and the people surrounding them were their peers.

The adults were interested in varying degrees… one of the cleaning ladies said they were “charmingly weird” which I can live with!

Domesticity.

I had forgotten how much of it everyone else was doing.

The washing machine repair man is here. He is miserable, patronising and has an air of smirky resentfulness about him. But what’s he got to complain about? He hasn’t got a houseful of unwashed teenage boy clothes!

I have a long list of household chores to do before I can even start on the art today. I resent it, but conversely I’m vacuuming with relish (messy, I know) as it is a physical reminder of a return to normal, whatever normal happens to be!

Once I’ve caught up, I will have my Tuesdays and Wednesdays to myself to write, read, make, visit, or just slob about with toast looking at facebook and youtube, catching up on my listening.

So if you’ll excuse me, I have to rediscover where we keep the pledge.

Well it’s properly over now. The babies have come home and are shoved in those big blue Ikea bags, waiting for me to find them a home. The song is over, the fat lady sang. I sang all the way home in the car, loudly, you know, in the way that you try to sing loudly at funerals?

So all those half-baked, half-written, half-formed, half-arsed ideas I’ve had need to become fully formed. I need to get them out there, into the big wide world. I need to apply for stuff. Get myself seen. Self-publicise.

So next week I write.

Get myself organised.

Clear my studio/dining room

Start again… today is the first day of….

I don’t want this to sound like one huge trumpet blowing exercise, but I’m having a really good week. The purpose of this blog is not just to tell you readers what I’m up to, what and how I’m thinking, but also to remind myself how I felt, how it was to be in a particular place at a particular time. So that maybe when I’m having a grim week, I can look back fondly on this time.

I’m sat at the moment in the foyer, looking at the “babies” twirling in the air currents, and listening to my song. People have told me they love/like/dance to/hum along with my song. The security guys that have been here all week tell me they like it, they’re not driven mad by it… it’s only Wednesday, they’ve got till 4pm Sunday, so it might happen! I’m not fed up of it yet, and I’ve been living and breathing it for the last 6 months or so… maybe even more! But that may be an ego thing! Haha! I never believe it when singers say they don’t listen to themselves… surely that must be nonsense? False modesty? I’ve written two songs to the point of having them properly recorded, and I love listening to them! The second one is better than the first, I think, and the third one, in my head, I’m sure will be better still, in terms of clarity of thought, execution and production.

Thursday:

In reading and commenting on Marion’s blog: www.a-n.co.uk/p/2157883/, she has shed light on my own process. I wrote a song to go with my first assessment in the first year of my MA, the Lullaby. It wasn’t really ready to play with that piece, so was finished for the next assessment point. It linked the two “episodes” if you like. The making comes first, then the song, but the song initiated by the making, gets played with the next episode of making…. That sounds like nonsense, but I hope you know what I mean.

So the work that is up at the moment, is pushing words into my head, through the reactions of other people to the work, and ideas and language that insinuates itself into my brain from looking at it, living with it. The words that arise from this process, will appear with the next episode of making. Thank you Marion for making me think about this part of my practice that is still new, and needs more exploration.

Invigilation (Part 1)

Before.

I came in early and have done the rounds, turning on a huge variety of technical equipment. Some people have left brilliant instructions, some people none. Some appliances (sorry Bo) due to my incompetence probably, have been rendered ineffectual and useless and inoperable and I’m apologetic and will try harder. We might be able to put it right with a pair of bolt cutters……

I can hear a few people shuffling round the studios, I can hear my own music in between the traffic, and the screams of another artist locked in the basement. Well, her film is anyway.

I’ve got my results, subject to the usual confirmations, and I’m pretty happy really. Especially as when I started two years ago there were moments I doubted I was up to the challenge. In a little while I am to be given feedback. Even though I know I did ok, I’m still apprehensive. As much I think, because who will keep me on the straight and narrow now? I will have to rely on the other people, not the Tutors With Authority. But then on the other hand, from now on, I can pretend everything is worth a distinction, and carry on smiling regardless!

Invigilation (Part 2)

After

Need a drink now.

Well that was very jolly. I feel well equipped to go into the world and be an Artist. I shall carry on rebelliously quilting, life drawing, shed building, singing, recording, and yes, performing… despite their dead-pan expressions the examiners were apparently impressed with my performance… it hit the spot! So onwards and upwards.

P.S. I’ve just shown Jo how to tie a new knot. She is far too excited by it. Don’t you love an artist with an obsession?