Threads

Today I am feeling very business-like.

Some days you pither about getting nothing done. Other days you have Bees in Bonnets and set about the day like a Headless Chicken, a Whirling Dervish, or a Cliche on Caffeine.

Today is one of the Dervish days. First off-peak train into town, drawing on the journey, texting and scribbling and listening to iPod. This time my own song, so it’s work. It’s easy to get carried away and say “Yes!” to horn section, strings, woodwind ensemble, harp and cathedral choirboys just for the hell of it, but sometimes all you need is a pair of scissors, a clock and a megaphone, and it hits the spot.

(I can see why bands that make a lot of money suddenly go in for the orchestral album – what a hoot it is to play with all this sound!)

Someone wise (my son) once said, “Keep it simple, do it well”

So now I’m wondering whether to have this new song play from headphones attached to my ironing board. At least it’d mean I wouldn’t be able to do any ironing for some considerable time!

Now this is something I really am less confident about. I’ve got this proposal I’ve written. It’s sat waiting for me to just attach it to an email and send it off. The deadline looms, but I’m convinced if I send it now I’ll come up with a much better way to say everything and it’ll be too late to change it once it’s gone.

Pull yourself together woman!

Right. Tutorials. Double edged sword or what?

Had a good tutorial on Wednesday, we discussed my display experiments, sound piece work and recordings, Bhimji’s Yellow Patch. Tutor not as keen on it as I am. But then I just watched it and listened to it, in isolation in New Art Gallery Walsall, not at Whitechapel with lots of other work, in the context of the artist’s oeuvre (oh do excuse my French!). My tutor thought Bhimji might be stuck. We discussed the causes for this, and market driven, commissioned art. Hmmm.

Then there was the look over her glasses and the comment. “You have to be careful not to get stuck”. Then we moved onto something else.

That sentence, among all the great things we talked about, the things that worked, and the things to think about, has STUCK in my head.

Am I stuck?

Does she think I’m stuck?

In danger of getting stuck?

Stuck stuck stuck stuck stuck?

So.

Out come the sketchbooks.

I do a bit of a flow chart from the beginning of my course, Sept 2010….. March 2012. This seems ok to me, I’ve moved on, changed tack, explored.

But what about NOW?

And what about NEXT?

I get out all my coloured pens and get writing, and drawing arrows and wiggly lines of possibilities from where I am now, and the thoughts I have for what to do next.

I think I’m ok.

I think.

I MUST NOT get STUCK

When I started the course I just wanted to do it.

Then I definitely wanted to pass it

Then I wanted a decent pass to reflect all my hard work.

Now out of the blue, it seems I want to blast it, ace it, blow ‘em out of the water!

Where the hell did that come from then?

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Got that wibbly wobbly fluttery feeling under my rib cage.

I’ve arranged some recording sessions with Dan and Tom to get my latest songy thing into tip-top condition for my final submission. This is the thing that is really doing it for me these days.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my textiles, and always will. But I have a level of competence/experience/mastery with them that doesn’t often throw up a surprise. I know how they work, what to expect and how to achieve what I want. It’s gratifying, it’s perhaps like a long happy marriage.

The music is my illicit affair. I don’t know how to do it properly, someone is going to find out and call my bluff. It gives me such a thrill… I record the sound of my husband making a cup of tea, then sit for hours trying to get something interesting from it, then I make a complete hash of it, but something magical appears… my mistakes and incompetence yield the most amazing things. The fact that I’m recording straight onto my mac means I get the sound of a bluebottle buzzing, or the cat meowing. I’ve got this tiny bit of sound that is a bus screeching to a halt outside, it fits with the music perfectly and totally accidentally. I could jump up and down with the joy of it. It makes me blush.

Tonight I’m going “talent-spotting”. They won’t know that’s what I’m doing. I shall be a spy. A member of the audience like any other, but with a secret agenda. To find singer-songwriters to play at the July ShedSongs event. It is an odd thing to do, because I’m not just listening for who plays/sings well, but listening to lyrics, and thinking of the Big Picture, and who will nestle amongst the other performers. Something that stands out as different, but not too different, harmonious, complementary even, but not jarring. I don’t want the music at Life and Other Art to be like the ignored string quartet in the corner. Neither do I want them to run away! I want people to grab their cuppa and their cake, leave the assorted nudes for a while, watch and listen. I also want passers-by to be drawn in off the street by the music, then go and look at the art too.

I’m curating the sounds I suppose. I like to have a good mix of people, and I like to especially have a mix of experience. I like the fact that I might choose someone who hasn’t performed in public before, and also someone seasoned and experienced like Dan (I have mentioned him before but won’t expect you to go searching… www.dan-whitehouse.com). What happens is fresh, and fun, and chatty. Performing in a shed – I’m told – is not like a stage. There is little between the artist and the audience. There is conversation between songs and during tuning… there are jokes and heckling, and another cup of tea. The shed joins in… percussion of course.

I’m hoping to have an even jammier-packed programme this year, so that everyone who comes hears something lovely as well as engaging with the exhibition of quilts from the Rebellious Quilters, and life drawing and other art (hence the title) from the life drawing group. Each year this event has grown, and I’m immensely proud to have been one of its instigators!

Next morning update…. Found a couple of people…. Watch this space for news!