Project Me

Had a very interesting day at Konstfack on Friday – presentations of artistic research projects and degree shows. Doing the research course has been a truly great experience, not only have I had the opportunity to find out more about what Artistic Research is – or might be! – I have gotten to know a really interesting and generous group of artists (in which I also include the course tutor). The course has provided me with a framework within which to think about my own practice but it has also opened up possibilities of vast new areas and approaches – things that I want to continue to explore and develop.

I have just received details of the ‘next’ course and will apply for that too.

The course has given me a lot to think about – directly and indirectly. One of the more interesting indirect things has been my resistance to the word ‘project’! I now think my that resistance had to do with a) how the word is sometimes (mis)used, and b) its relevance to my own practice. Partly in preparation for applying for the next course, and partly for my own sake, I have been thinking about what my work is about, what subject, theme or topic I can draw out of it (as opposed to ‘place on it‘). I realised that this subject, theme or topic is the essence of what could be called my ‘project’ – I like the idea that ‘project’ can describe the theme and approach of my practice. In that way I think that the word, and the concept, could be very useful to me and perhaps it is this usefulness that has enabled me to re-access my resistance. Through the course I have begun to think more carefully about the persistent qualities in my practice and it is these that are slowly forming into what I might be happily able to call ‘my project’.

I remain nervous about the relationship between the thinking, reading and writing, and the actual physical visual making. This, I suspect, is an important feeling and one to be embraced rather than avoided, for it is this tension between theory and practice – if I can get it right(!) – that will develop and progress what I achieve.

One of my fellow students and I had a very interesting discussion about one of the research presentations, I was delighted when she called me the following the day to talk a little more about what she and her partner had been discussing over night. Even more delighted that she spoke Swedish with me and that I was almost entirely able to speak Swedish with her! Language is both central and incidental part of my life at the moment, I am so pleased that outside of the course times my class-mates speak Swedish with me, it is an incredible help for improving my ‘art’ Swedish and it the best kind of feedback that I could receive as it is so easy for Swedes to seamlessly, and politely, change to English when they realise that someone does not understand them or is incapable of expressing themselves in Swedish.



After days of reading, writing and confusion it was lovely to come to the studio put on my old overalls and get on with something practical before sitting at the desk and switching on the computer.

I am tying myself in knots trying to write about my work for the research course. Writing about my work does not come naturally to me, at the moment I am so confused that I do not quite understand what it exactly is that I am even trying to write! Phrases from the final assignment float around in my head but somehow they remain intangible. Writing is not my medium, visual art is – and this is, I guess, the challenge faced by all artists wishing to participate in fields such as research where the demand for dissemination, communicability and academic status steer us towards the written word.

Being able to express my practice, or at least ‘give an account’ of it, in written form would be great, and I am certain that this skill would open doors for me beyond the immediate situation. I imagine that writing any kind of application or proposal would be easier if the ‘right’ words flowed freely.

Searching for inspiration I started to read about some of my favourite artists. This produced strange sensations of both surety and futility – I began to imagine that my work had a heritage and a context, and conversely I began to wonder where its originality, if it had any, lay.

The originality lies, of course, in the execution. The challenge I face now is how to make the execution (rather than the concept for example,) the focus of the writing, because for me the execution has always been the actual artwork.

Questions:

If research is about improvement, what does ‘improvement’ mean in terms of artistic research?

If research needs to be evaluated, what does ‘evaluation’ mean in terms of artistic research?

If the intention of artistic research is to draw the research topic out of the practice rather than present the topic to the practice, how does the artist(ic researcher) produce and investigate the practice at the same time? It sounds as though I need to be simultaneously both inside and outside of the practice. Can that be right? How could that be possible?

Leaving the above aside (!), what have I come up with so far? What can I suggest that my artwork does in a way that might be considered ‘research’? It presents new ways to think about things, it encourages heightened/increased sensitivity to the material world, it attempts to offer new possibilities and methods of comprehension. (I worry that this all starts to sound rather patronising and egocentric.)

The idea of making new connections interests me as it starts to suggest a way of producing new knowledge, or at least extending existing knowledge, making additions, this is certainly something that I can draw out from my practice.

I worry that the things I have identified so far are not (nor should they be!) unique to my practice. Research is of course related to the access to, and distribution of, resources, which is why the question of ‘significance’ comes up so often. If I cannot make a good argument for the significance of my practice then I feel that it is unlikely to gain access to research resources even if it might be considered to be research. I find it particularly hard to think of how I might claim the significance of work that is yet to be made. Perhaps this is where the term ‘project’ has its use. Could the ‘project’ be the structure that gives subsequent artworks significance?

I resisted the word ‘project’ as I could not see its relation to my practice, perhaps I am beginning to realise its potential. This week we received information about the follow-up course that we are invited to apply for, it’s name: Artistic Research Project – maybe it’s a sign …



I want, and need, to work out how I can start getting some exhibition opportunities here in Stockholm. I guess that it is probably no different to anywhere else, so have to admit that I have always found it challenging to promote myself – far easier to promote other people and to be invited to show … One significant difference between here and London for example is that there are still ways to get financial support for art, for example grants that can be used to realise an exhibition, or produce work. This is important for me to remember, as I am not in a position where I am earning money to finance things myself as I often did in London. My pace is somewhat slow, so the sooner I get started the better!

Perhaps unsurprisingly I have been thinking about what kind of space, both literally and conceptually, my work occupies. These questions have come up through the research course, but also possibly because I wonder the same about myself as I become more settled in Sweden. What is my identity as an artist? What do I want it to be? Perhaps if I could start to work that out I might start to see a plan of action. A tighter focus might be just what I need right now, a way to make things manageable.

At the studio’s annual meeting on Wednesday we (Birgitta, Leif and I) received approval for our ‘motion’ that the exhibition space be guaranteed for as long as the studios are here. It has been a question hanging over the space since the private funding for a part-time curator ceased a couple of years ago. We are also the members who now have responsibility to make it happen! It is very exciting and although I think it will be a lot of work I expect to get a lot out of it, not least a far better understanding of how artists and arts venues work here. In addition I want to do as much as I can in Swedish so that my ability to talk about art in Swedish improves – something that I cannot really expect to happen on the language courses that I am doing.

Last night I went tot the opening of a show by artists who last year took the ‘Swedish’ artistic research course as Konstfack (there are two research courses running this year – one in Swedish and one in English! The one in Swedish also ran last year and it was those artists whose show opened yesterday). Many of the artists’ statements were very clear about the personal nature of the works’ content and explained that the research process had been significant to their understanding of their motivations and imagery. The ‘Swedish identity’ seemed to be a thread that ran through many pieces. I tried to imagine some of my work in the show and found it rather difficult. On the way home I wondered what a group show from ‘my’ research course might look like, perhaps I will get the opportunity to find out …



I thought that I was going to write something about the question of why there are so few (if any – according to some people!) internationally known Swedish artists when the level of government support and other types of assistance, subsidies and stipends is so high. However after a couple of attempts at writing a paragraph or two I have decided that just to pose the question is sufficient at the moment.

This morning I met up with some of my fellow students from the Artistic Research (AR) course. It’s the second time that we have met outside of the course time and again the conversation was as fascinating as it was wide ranging. I really appreciate the opportunity to work with such interesting artists, and cannot express my delight that an institution such as Konstfack has the possibility to run “free-standing” courses lead by world class lectures on an open application basis. Although it is a free-standing course it carries a number of credits or points, which if I understand correctly could count toward a degree or other qualification.

As if to drive home the fact that I am no longer in Britain I was reminded that next week is the deadline for submitting an application for the artists’ stipend. The year-long award is a tax-free 100 000 SEK (about 10,000 GBP) which the artist uses to buy themselves time, materials, and or space, for their work. There is also a two-year award (available only to those who have previously received a one-year award) of 120 000SEK per year (also tax-free, which means a lot in Sweden!), and even a five-year award of 134 000SEK per year (that one however is taxable). I am not sure how many awards are made each year but there are at least a few of each and from what I understand the range of artists receiving them is pretty wide.

So in addition to revising for my Swedish exams next week, or perhaps as part of my ‘reading comprehension’ revision, I am going to spending time this weekend reading that application as an award like that would be amazing to receive, and here I feel that, if my work is good, I stand as good a chance of receiving it as anyone else!

Perhaps a meritocracy does not produce the kind of super-star artists that other systems do, but it sure feels good to me!



My Swedish friends think my enthusiasm over the Kultur & Media job centre and unemployment services is highly amusing. I am going to recommend that they take a trip the job centre on Burdett Road.

What they find strange, and so do I now I think about it, is that there are government funded universities offering courses in a subject which other government departments do not recognise as a career and /or identity. I had no counter argument. I think this is symptomatic of the UKs lack of joined up thinking. I could almost accept it more if all art schools were private, but they are not. The Kultur & Media office of the unemployment office here might not ever find me a job but its very existence is a sign of recognition that artists exist, and that they work!

Received positive feedback about my writing for the research course. The tutor suggested that I got the headings around the wrong way, meaning that I described my artwork instead of myself and myself instead of my artwork. Does this perhaps hint at a slightly more worrying possibility that I find it hard to distinguish myself from my practice – to the point where there seems to be some kind of identity confusion … I hope that I simply misunderstood the academic phrasing of the assignment.

The course is becoming more and more interesting. Sometimes I feel so alien, so English, so less than successful English artist … I could keep adding words! What I realised during Friday’s session is that I feel conditioned to be in a state of inferiority, and this is neither healthy nor helpful. I can give all kinds of reasons for my condition, they are almost irrelevant though, as the main thing is to realise that I am now in a situation where it will benefit me to feel equal. Perhaps without consciously realising it somewhere along the way here I lost my sense of equality. It is high time to find again!*

Research might be a good place for me to be. It seems to be a place where there is excitement around connections and my work is always about connections: immediate, distant, conceptual, literal, figurative, material, historic, social, political and cultural – along with the everyday and vulgar connections which keep me childishly amused! It would be wonderful to have a place where I can continue with what I am already doing and develop it, make it better, communicate its significance, contribute to other and more discussions ….

Over the weekend I began to wonder if part of problem with coming to understand ‘research’ is that I am already doing it. By this I mean that I have been looking for this ‘research’ thing as something new and external to myself, where as it is actually very familiar and already rooted in me and my practice. From now I am going to take the position that I already do research and that I am learning to refine and develop processes and methodologies that already exist.

It is counter-productive to spend time worrying about entitlement, authority and permission, especially on the course at Konstfack, as these things are taken for granted – hence the general confusion when I raise them as ‘issues’. Sometimes I do feel so very very foreign! What happens if I look at my practice through the lens of ‘research’? I remember saying here, a few years ago, that I was suspicious of artists claiming that their practice was ‘research’ – I’d like the opportunity to review that statement! Perhaps what I was (and still am) resistant to is the tailoring of practices to fit pre-existing or imagined research methodologies – the practice must always come first …

*Embarking on a grand quest with no route map. The great thing about not knowing where the journey of this sort ends is that it never need end.

ps. at about 5pm on sunny afternoons when I am elsewhere I think of the sparkling door in the studio – the thought of it makes me happy