Stockholm is my PhD
It’s Tuesday morning and I’m surrounded by packed and half packed boxes, bags of things for the charity shop, a pile of “essential” paperwork, another pile of paperwork that needs to be dealt with – somehow. In the midst of this I’m having breakfast and starting to read the 20th anniversary edition of Frieze.
It is only in the last three of four years that I’ve appreciated and looked forward to opening to each new Frieze. I particularly like the editorial and regular columns. This month’s contribution by Jörg Heiser and Jennifer Higgie is a wonderfully succinct piece reflecting on 20 years of contemporary art and (what I think are probably peculiarly) British attitudes towards it. I found myself agreeing with their counter-claims; that contemporary practice is deeper than the headline grabbing spectacles of certain household name artists, that good writing is widely available, that art is more diverse than before, and finally (and most importantly as far as I’m concerned) that good art will out.
I love it when what I read confirms that my own thoughts are in line with those of who make a living from their opinions. What occurred to me this morning is that I too understand what and where (British) contemporary practice is. And perhaps this understanding is an aspect of my re-location to Stockholm. I might not be a ‘successful’ artist in terms of recognition, sales, position in the art world and the like but in terms of ‘understanding’ I am very successful. I understand a great deal of the British contemporary art scene. I am someone who loves learning, I love learning for it’s own sake. I am about to move somewhere with an art scene that I don’t understand. I know that I need to do the next thing in/for my practice, a PhD might be one way to do it, moving to Stockholm is another way. Stockholm will be about learning a new way to be an artist.
I’ve just realised that when I’ve moved (any great distance) in the past it was to go to college – re-locating has been bound up with learning, so even if I’m not enrolled with an academy I will say I am continuing with this …
My mind is all over the place. I’m thinking about packing – it’s hard to think of one’s life in cubic meters as I have had to do to book a moving firm. It’s also interesting to realise that I have more artworks, art materials and art books than anything else. Last night I started to pack the books, it turns out that a box full of books is far heavier than I expected. I am pleased to be packing in meters rather than kilos. However I might have to get smaller boxes for the books so that I can get them downstairs.
On Monday I install a version of Go-Go at the 4xm2 Gallery Pavilion. Last week I helped out on the last day of its construction. It’s a fantastic ‘pop-up’ gallery that has popped up in the parade ground at Chelsea School of Art. So it has very grand neighbours! It is a shame that I won’t be able to use solar power, time constraints mean that I haven’t been able to get a ‘silent’ power adapter made and tested. All the off-the-shelf invertors have alarms that alert you to low battery power, I can see the point of these alarms but it’s rather frustrating when you want to drain the battery for conceptual reasons without risking prosecution for nuisance noise.
I’m very excited to see if the light splatter will reach Tate Britain. The 4xm2 Gallery show – Quadruple Energy – opens as part of First Friday along with Tate and other galleries. Unfortunately I can’t be there. I will be in Stockholm. The trip was arranged long before Chelsea gave the go ahead for the pavilion and I can’t cancel as I’m attending the christening of my god-daughter’s brother.
I have arranged to meet up with some of the artists at the studio where I did the residency while I’m in Stockholm. Hopefully I will hear that there is a studio for me. I’m desperate to get on after what feels like far too long concentrating on other things. Talking with a friend this week it occurred to me that I’m much more focussed on finding a studio than I am on thinking about where I’ll actually be living. (Maybe that’s because I have a couple of options for somewhere to sleep!)
Cycling passed rows of south London Victorian house this morning I smiled to myself and thought that I won’t be seeing that kind of architecture for much longer. I had similar thoughts when I cycled through Dulwich Park earlier this week. English architecture and landscaping are quite unique, quite wonderful.
I’ve accepted an offer on my flat.
I should be in Stockholm in September. My life is about change in a big way. I’m incredibly excited. I can’t quite believe that I’m really doing it. Moving to Stockholm is truly a bitter-sweet thing. I am taking a giant step towards an unknown future, (is the future ever known?) I am also moving away from very good and dear friends. There is, of course, also the reason that I found myself in Stockholm in the first place – John. I’m leaving the place where we had each other, and going to the place where he had his past and I will have my future.
My first of four screen-printing workshop was on Tuesday evening. It was really good. Lucy who runs the course and the print workshop is really nice and a great tutor. She even provided me with a towel to dry myself after cycling there in an absolute downpour. Luckily I had been shopping earlier and had with me a new pair of shorts. It’s only now that I realise ‘exactly’ why it felt so odd to be doing the course in sport shorts – I must have looked like middle age version of the schoolboy whose wearing his PE kit in class because he had an “accident”.
We made a very simple screen and got used to printing. It was lovely to be doing something in a creative environment again. I am looking forward to getting better with the technique and seeing what I can do. I had some ideas of very simple prints which would fit well with my other work but I’m going make myself to try new things and play a bit. Lucy asked us to email her three pictures that we will use to make prints over the coming weeks. It was quite a challenge not to think too much about my choices and not to imagine how I want the prints to turn out.
Finding a simple alarm-free ‘inverter’ for Go-Go is proving harder than I anticipated. After discovering that I can’t disable the alarm in the inverter I already have I am worried that all the affordable devices have built in alarms. I don’t know what to do if I cannot find an alarm-free inverter as it is an essential component.
I was really saddened to hear of Cy Twombly’s death. It seems especially poignant coming a week after the opening of the wonderful Arcadian Painters show at Dulwich Picture Gallery. The show pairs Twombly with Poussin, and it works so well. I was Kim’s ‘plus one’ at the opening night and arrived late after work. Slowly wandering through the show when most other people were socialising in the bar area felt like a real privilege. Twombly’s Four Seasons hang in the last room, I think they are beautiful paintings – I was alone with them for several minutes and I was moved to tears. The gallery attendant closed the doors behind me as I left.
Perhaps in preparation for my move to Stockholm I am becoming interested in artists who follow their instincts – like Twombly who in 1957 moved to from the US to Europe as the art world shifted in the other direction. Artists who know what they need to do to be who they are (to be who they will become?).
My house (home?) is ‘on the market’. It is a very strange feeling, not only does it mark a significant point of change of my life, it is also all so uncertain. Change is a very current theme that appears to permeate so much right now. Perhaps it’s the scale and range of the changes that everyone is experiencing that makes them seem so all pervasive.
Some of the changes that I am still struggling with are the shifts in technology. Starting to ‘log in’ again after weeks (months?) of keeping my laptop away from dirt, dust and paint I have notice just how much goes on ‘on-line’. I’ve missed nearly 60 messages and events on facebook, and at the same time I hardly received any post or messages on my answer machine. Friends who write and leave telephone messages (rather than voice mail) are, save one, those living outside of London.
Beyond keeping in touch with friends I am becoming concerned that my preference for old style forms of communication could be detrimental to my life as an artist. Some of those facebook messages were invitations to exhibition openings. An increasing number of opportunities are listed on-line, which is terrible for someone like me who does not enjoy reading and scrolling through screen pages. I can see the attraction (economic and environmental) of electronic media but I am a material, object and tactile loving person. I like to feel the pages of a magazine, I flip backwards and forwards, I have a ‘code’ of turning over and tearing page corners to mark things of interest. I’ve been doing and refining my media skills for more than 25 years now and I’m finding the speed of change to electronic/digital media too much!
I’ve been invited to show Go-Go again. It’s a very interesting project – the M2 Gallery (who showed it at their Peckham site) have invited four artists to take part in a kind of ‘meter cubed’ gallery/pavilion that they are making this summer. I cycled past where the gallery/pavilion will be sited yesterday, it will be very interesting to see how Go-Go’s light splatter works in that location.
This morning I’m going to have coffee with some of the other artists that used to be the core of Crystal Palace Artists. It’ll be good to hear what they are up to and to be with other artists again!
