For the first time in a long time I have been in the studio everyday this week. I am having a hard time making anything at the moment so it has been really good just to be here and to allow myself to feel awkward and frustrated – I tell myself that it is part of ‘the process’.
Today I have mainly been moving things around in order to clear some space. The studio continues to be inhabited by large cardboard boxes that contain the contents of what were my bookshelves, walls and studio in London. Sometimes I feel very aware of the restrictions of subletting a studio rather than it being “mine”, of course this would not be such an issue if I did not add so many of my own things to an already furnished space! However the moving and sorting is good and it feels as though I might soon have space to breath and to make new things.
As a result of moving one of chairs I noticed something immediately outside the studio window that I had not paid attention to before – a flagpole, actually one of a number of flagpoles that run along the boundary of the industrial estate where the studio is. There is no flag flying (I don’t think I have ever seen one), I am thinking about making a one …
For three days my computer could (would?) not pick up the internet connection here. It has been interesting to be here with the distractions it offers – radio, email, Skype, internet. (An internet search on ‘distraction’ produced 41,000,000 hits in 0.23 seconds.). I am going to see if I can get out of the habit of coming here and immediately turning the computer on. Space is not just physical!
Yesterday I un-packed an unfinished patchwork and have put it up on the wall. It was packed up when I moved out my studio in West Norwood (2010). I have also started to polish the additional ring shaped cake tins that I have been collecting since my residency here (2009). I think (hope?!) that my re-engagement with these pieces is a sign that there is some untapped potential in them.
