I’ve called people to withdraw from projects only to regret it minutes later.
I’ve put down one piece of work to pick up another, then another and another.
I’ve spent hours staring at gallery listings.
I’ve started collecting words, images and ideas for a performance.
I’ve purposefully set off to meetings early and killed time wandered the streets.
I’ve emailed people, apologised and asked to be included in their projects again.
I’ve had really strong re-actions to art-works.
I’ve made new embroideries.
My mind as all over the place – in the space of one morning I can range from manic speedy ideas for new projects to bouts of self-doubt and fear, from not being able to concentrate at all to periods of amazing clarity and focus.
I think John might be really poorly. Or perhaps I saw him with fresh eyes after those few days away. He seems so much smaller, so much weaker, much more vulnerable.
This morning I cleared out another pile of invites and press releases for openings and exhibitions I didn’t get to.
I come to the studio – it feels like the right place to be.
I make fresh coffee.
I talk and laugh with Jodi.
I sew.
We have tea – it feel like the right place to be.</
