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I’m sure I repeat myself every time I go away.
When I get home I will:
• prioritise making art
• go to studio more
• just make and not think so much
• go to more openings
• speak to galleries /curators

What happens in those miles above the earth?
Is it the hours I gain or lose that shift something?

January has been tough for me, not least due the thoughts and emotions that attending the bereavement group has brought up. It has been very good though – not always pleasant – and I’m glad that I am doing it. What surprised me most was the anger I felt. I’ve always thought that I ‘didn’t do’ anger, that I could rationalise it away, that I could coolly unpick a situation, keep my distance, and make an intellectual response. How did I think I could make art if I was maintaining such an attitude?

Sketchbook: I need to start carrying it with me again. When did I stop? I have a feeling it was around the anniversary of the John’s death.
Studio: I’m so pleased that I tidied and painted it while I was unable to engage with making anything. Now I have a good clean place to start making again. Ideally I would construct a false wall in front of the defunct and immoveable radiator and over the damp and crumbling bricks. Perhaps I should investigate how much that would cost. I notice that I am starting to get a lot of email advertising studios – a sign of the recession?

Coming to Stockholm has been a necessary extravagance. I am still serious about spending more time here and this week has been useful for that. It has given me time to think about what preparations I need to make. I am aware that despite being a smaller city it will be hard work to make and show art here.

(Pictures for this and other Stockholm posts coming as soon as I find the right cable)


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