Project Me

I am both disappointed and frustrated not to have received an artists’ working grant (again). It would be fantastic to have the opportunity to live and work as an artist full-time for a year at least once. I thought that I stood a good chance of being successful when I applied this time – I’ve had a couple of notable exhibitions in the last couple of years (or so I thought), and I have a couple of exhibitions and a project presentation coming up in early 2026. My colleagues at the studio were also surprised to hear that I was not successful. It must be becoming rather tedious for them to say they are surprised every year too!

Looking at the successful artists from this county (not that it is awarded by county but one has to start somewhere when reviewing the 401 artists who were successful) I see that they work in ways which are easily, one could almost say traditionally, defined – painting, print-making, socially engaged practice. My work on the other hand is rather tricky to define, sometimes installation, sometimes object/sculpture, sometimes social engaged, sometimes conceptual. My work challenges traditional classification, even if I use ready-mades it is always with specific socio-political intent as well as aesthetic consideration. My work may not be one thing, and at the same time it is not not another thing. It is in essence … I guess … queer. And it seems to make people uncomfortable. That is until they meet me … then things usually go better, then they get it.

Receiving the award has implications far beyond the sudden increase in one’s bank balance. As is all too often the case success creates success – or perhaps I should say recognition creates recognition. Having the award listed on one’s cv certainly seems to be an advantage when applying for other awards, projects, commissions, and residencies. It is obviously a stamp of approval that makes it easier to be approved elsewhere. Such things are particularly important in a country such as Sweden where most want to follow the trend rather than dare to be different.

I feel, and it just a feeling as it is hard to find statistics, that artists educated outside of Sweden have a distinct disadvantage in this Swedish grant system. The majority of artists graduating from a Swedish art institution leave with some kind of stipend or award. It might be financial, material (free studios), or experiential (residencies). This usually allows recent graduates at least six months to one year without having the same economic challenges as artists who do not have access to the same or similar support. Of course this does not guarantee a successful career, it does however create windows of opportunity, it also provides that first important award on their cv.

And everyone knows that it is easier to keep a bolder rolling than to set it off in the first place.

If I do ever receive on of these grants I can pretty much guarantee that I will be filled with a sense of ’about time’ rather than being awash with gratitude.

I spent Friday playing with the faux silk scarf squares that I have been picking up in charity shops for years. I have a complex relation to them – a relationship that I do not fully understand … I guess that I can call it a working relation in that I am working with the relation. Initially I had imagined patch-working the squares to create material that might be formed into some kind of tent like structure. More recently I have been thinking of simply patch-working them into a large piece that would be hung or draped.

On Friday, after weeks away away from the studio – the result of Supermarket, a trip to the UK, and paid work – I found myself taking the scarves from the drawer where they have been resting. I hadn’t planned to work with them that day though I had promised myself a day of working with physical material after too long a time of not having done that.

Quite quickly I realised that the few if any of the squares were the same size. I had thought that there would be negligible differences – a centimeter here and there – what I discovered were considerably more significant differences than I had anticipated. Looking at the larger scarves I realised that trimming them down would dramatically alter them – how could I have thought that the proportions of the designs would tolerate such cuts. Even if I sorted the collection in two the smaller of each selection … and therefore the template for potential cuts … were so much smaller than the larger pieces that any resultant patchwork would not only compromise many designs but it would also draw more attention to the act of patch-working that I had intended. Cutting the scarves would also, obviously, be irreversible, and I am simply not convinced that I want to make those cuts.

Later in the afternoon, after M and a visiting friend of hers came by and I spoke a little about my work, I tried doing the simplest thing – pinning scarves directly on the studio wall in a collage patchwork. I worked fast not bothering to press the scarves, not thinking too much about an overall design. With the fourth scarf I began to appreciate what what happening. The scarves expanded across the studio wall. I was installing them.

I think that my best work has often been installation. My previous thinking about the scarves had been coming from the wrong place – it had been coming from a place of object rather than a place of installation.

Whatever this piece becomes it is not primarily concerned with the craft of patchwork, so of course the piece does not need to be patch-worked in that way. Hanging the scarves individually and directly on the wall – overlapping and permitting no glimpse of the wall – refers to patchwork without being patchwork. This felt … feels … much more appropriate. I am excited to continue with trial work when I return to the studio next week. I am excited to think about a time when I will install these scarves on a wall where there will be an audience.

Supermarket days 3, 4, and +1

It struck me the other morning that I feel similarly about Supermarket to how I feel about the studio association and about my time at Dartington – that I am at home there, that I am a part of the lovely, slightly awkward Supermarket family. I can not imagine not ’doing’ Supermarket. Quite simply I belong there.

Saturday’s Meetings programme went well and I am really pleased that the final meeting was the international Virtual Studio Group – complete with virtual participants – it was a fantastically welcoming, open, and generous gathering. I was invited to join the group and might well do so. I will be seeing them at Juxtapose where they are also participating.

Sunday morning I met with Pam and Cecile from Juxtapose. In a flash of inspiration(?) I remembered that there is a wonderful independent garden centre with a lovely café not too far from the fair venue and not too far from where Pam and Cecile were staying. We met there and some oh-ing and ah-ing at the the plants I was treated to a very nice brunch and we three shared a slice of delicious carrot cake – quite possibly the best that I have had in Sweden. Our conversation was wide ranging, inspiring, and affirming. We talked about our lives, about Supermarket, and about Juxtapose. It made me even more pleased and excited about being part of Juxtapose 2025. I really like how Pam and Cecile are thinking about what Juxtapose could be – the biannual gathering, they are striking the words art fair from the name, is just one aspect of their ambition to support the artist-run scene. I am really pleased to see the development of their critical engagement, and am truly flattered that they are are open with me about their ideas.

Not having meetings on Sunday is so good! It gives me a chance to see the stands – I am pretty much fully occupied with first Forum and then Meetings from the moment that most booths are finished … which is usually only moments before the Forum session beings. So Sunday is the first opportunity for me to see what’s going on. It is also very nice to have time to speak with all the meeting moderators and hosts, to thank them for their meeting and to hear how it was for them.

I also got to speak with both established Supermarket participants and some first timers. I would so dearly love to be able to follow-up on all the invitations to visit artists in Ireland, Tunisia, Istanbul, San Paulo, Mexico, Essex, Canada. I am definitely going to do my best to get to Frankfurt this summer where I will not only get to spend time with some brilliant artists and see their spaces but also celebrate Pride – such a generous invitation!

Day +1 is always a little melancholic. This year the firm that the temporary walls are hired from arrived super early and by the time John and I arrived, after our traditional ’posh coffee’, the venue bore little trace of what it had been just sixteen hours earlier. Our tasks on Monday are odd: sorting the recycling, rolling up and putting away the banners, de-constructing the information desk, packing up the office. One minute I am carrying a sofa to the loading bay, the next I am carrying a single visitors badge to the small box where we are collecting such things to re.use next year. Mid afternoon I say my goodbyes and head back to Uppsala physically and mentally exhausted … and happy.

Reflecting on the fair I have a great sense of care and generosity, there was general feeling of community … family? I saw a good deal of hugging, and even handshakes were affectionate –often the other hand gently grasping of the upper arm or shoulder. Perhaps this is how things were before Covid (my first year as Meetings Coordinator was 2020 – the year that Supermarket became Super Local so my knowledge of the fair before the pandemic is from another perspective), or … and … perhaps the world political and economic situation is making artists, at least those in the ’always already’ alternative and independent artist-run sector, even more caring and compassionate. It felt hopeful, and that is much needed right now.

Supermarket day 2

Another day of meetings – so many diverse and interesting conversations begin. I really hope that people make connections and find kindred spirits to maintain contact with.

At some point I received feedback that I should mention that I am a practicing artist when I do my briefest of introductions – the point is for the participants to present themselves, I am not a participant as such – so I mentioned it and people really seemed to appreciate it.

The meeting about neuro-difference made me wonder where I am on the autistic spectrum – the proposition was that all creatives are somewehere on the spectrum. Listening to the discussion I certainly recognised some traits though I have never thought of myself as autistic … perhaps when I have time I could learn more about it … and perhaps more about myself.

Supermarket day 1

Yesterday’s meetings (’Meetings’?) went well. Some where a little off topic … or perhaps rather the topic was the catalyst … starting point … for an unexpected direction. The meeting about working at the edges became something more overtly political than the moderator had anticipated. It was an incredibly interesting and thought provoking discussion demonstrating a breadth of realities, intentions, and ambitions of artists working through and across the dimensions both edges and also, implicitly, borders.

Sitting in meetings sets in motions thoughts around Glitter Ball – what and or how might it be … what can it be. Again the intersection of various dimensions shift and sparkle. How could GB organise residencies? Who could we collaborate with? What capacity does GB have? How … where … can GB exist between the concrete and the conceptual?

I am fascinated by the things that others artists are able to conjure … to make real.
What I can make real?