Project Me

My Swedish friends think my enthusiasm over the Kultur & Media job centre and unemployment services is highly amusing. I am going to recommend that they take a trip the job centre on Burdett Road.

What they find strange, and so do I now I think about it, is that there are government funded universities offering courses in a subject which other government departments do not recognise as a career and /or identity. I had no counter argument. I think this is symptomatic of the UKs lack of joined up thinking. I could almost accept it more if all art schools were private, but they are not. The Kultur & Media office of the unemployment office here might not ever find me a job but its very existence is a sign of recognition that artists exist, and that they work!

Received positive feedback about my writing for the research course. The tutor suggested that I got the headings around the wrong way, meaning that I described my artwork instead of myself and myself instead of my artwork. Does this perhaps hint at a slightly more worrying possibility that I find it hard to distinguish myself from my practice – to the point where there seems to be some kind of identity confusion … I hope that I simply misunderstood the academic phrasing of the assignment.

The course is becoming more and more interesting. Sometimes I feel so alien, so English, so less than successful English artist … I could keep adding words! What I realised during Friday’s session is that I feel conditioned to be in a state of inferiority, and this is neither healthy nor helpful. I can give all kinds of reasons for my condition, they are almost irrelevant though, as the main thing is to realise that I am now in a situation where it will benefit me to feel equal. Perhaps without consciously realising it somewhere along the way here I lost my sense of equality. It is high time to find again!*

Research might be a good place for me to be. It seems to be a place where there is excitement around connections and my work is always about connections: immediate, distant, conceptual, literal, figurative, material, historic, social, political and cultural – along with the everyday and vulgar connections which keep me childishly amused! It would be wonderful to have a place where I can continue with what I am already doing and develop it, make it better, communicate its significance, contribute to other and more discussions ….

Over the weekend I began to wonder if part of problem with coming to understand ‘research’ is that I am already doing it. By this I mean that I have been looking for this ‘research’ thing as something new and external to myself, where as it is actually very familiar and already rooted in me and my practice. From now I am going to take the position that I already do research and that I am learning to refine and develop processes and methodologies that already exist.

It is counter-productive to spend time worrying about entitlement, authority and permission, especially on the course at Konstfack, as these things are taken for granted – hence the general confusion when I raise them as ‘issues’. Sometimes I do feel so very very foreign! What happens if I look at my practice through the lens of ‘research’? I remember saying here, a few years ago, that I was suspicious of artists claiming that their practice was ‘research’ – I’d like the opportunity to review that statement! Perhaps what I was (and still am) resistant to is the tailoring of practices to fit pre-existing or imagined research methodologies – the practice must always come first …

*Embarking on a grand quest with no route map. The great thing about not knowing where the journey of this sort ends is that it never need end.

ps. at about 5pm on sunny afternoons when I am elsewhere I think of the sparkling door in the studio – the thought of it makes me happy



Oh how wonderful to watch the sun stretch across the glittered door that is now propped up against the studio wall! I had not imagined that the low spring light would extend so far as to cover the entire surface.

The piece needs at least a few more layers of glitter. I am learning how to apply the binder. It is interesting to see how the glitter builds up, my hope is that as the surface becomes denser it will also become less regular and therefore catch more light from different angles. Brushing off the loose glitter after the first coating revealed that nearly all the glitter that stuck fast was lying flat against the door. After the second coat it was noticeable that the glitter was beginning to fasten between and over the first layer which created a slightly more uneven surface, which in turn has improved how it sparkles.

Propping the piece up like this is the first time that I have seen it without an immediate relation to the floor. The intention has always been to wall mount the pieces as ‘landscapes’ so as to defer the moment when they are recognised as doors. The panorama-ness of the proportions is rather pleasing. While sitting back and looking at ‘it’ (I want to stop calling it ‘a door’ now that it is becoming an artwork but I have not quite found the right alternative expression just yet,) the idea of two pieces mounted so that their (respective) right- and left-hand edges meet in the corner of a room crossed my mind …

Yesterday evening I went to the opening of the group show Thinking and Speaking at Nordenhaken. The work was very academic and theoretical, which seemed almost at odds with the incredibly social bustling crowd. It is the kind of show that makes me feel that I need to read (at least) the press release to have a chance at comprehension – I was very glad to find a couple of pieces that ‘worked’ without additional information. It is not that I am against reading, but I have adopted a strategy of going to shows ‘blind’ and seeing how much I can glean from the exhibition without reading about it first. It is an excellent ploy for me as it forces me to look at the work, as opposed to looking for the confirmation of what I have read. At Christian Larsson’s neighbouring gallery Lilibeth Cuenca Rasmusen’s Mobile Mirrors opened. The show includes two performers in mirrored morph suits – the gallery was awash with reflected light splatter from them and three mirrored mannequins. It was both reassuring and unsettling to see this so soon after leaving my own sparkling and light reflecting work in the studio on the other side of town. Seeing another show for the second time, and just before the gallery* closed, I wondered about how the paintings might look in a darkened interior (something like a church), I mentioned this to the gallery director who smiled and invited me to stay while she switched off the lights. I felt immensely privileged to be given this private viewing. In less than half-light the paintings in themselves became even more luminous and ethereal, and the experience of being with them even more intimate. Light became an unexpected subject for the evening.
*(It feels odd not to name the gallery and artist but I do not want to upset anyone by making something inappropriately public.)

Meeting and chatting with another artist/student for lunch yesterday, and with others this morning was really good. It was good to get feedback on what I am writing for the research course, and also to hear what they have been thinking. Much of the discussion was in Swedish and even if I could not express myself as well as I wanted it felt good to see what I could say. I continue to be excited and delighted by the opportunities that there are to meet other artists in this city …

http://www.nordenhake.com/php/current.php?bID=184&…
http://www.christianlarsen.se/





After what was starting to feel like an eternity I actually did something practical towards a new artwork yesterday – and it was wonderful!

Amazing how much joy some glitter, glue and an off-cut can bring!

As a counter point to both my courses this brief moment of hands-on art was a very welcome relief. The distinction between artistic research and artistic practice is alive and confronting me – well, it is at least presenting itself to me. What was yesterday’s activity, research or practice, or both, or neither … whom do I need to define it for?

And ultimately does it matter if it is artistic research or artistic practice?

Are qualifying words such as ‘research’ and ‘practice’ devises for avoiding other thorny subjects such as quality and aesthetics?



The word ‘claim’ continues to occupy my mind. It is such an interesting term, and ‘what is the claim in your work?’ is a very interesting question. The question can also be phrased: what is the significance of your work? Which in turn seems to be a polite way of asking why anyone else should care what you are doing! Articulating an answer to that is probably the key to many things, and I am almost a little embarrassed that I have never asked it of myself before.

My own preconceptions of research (science) and applicability (design) direct me to think about answers that do not ring true in terms of my practice. If I need to find a field beyond, or possibly even within, the fine arts then I need to look elsewhere – I think I need to look to places of ideas, places that are as nuanced as an artistic practice is.

Transubstantiation comes to mind (which is a little daunting!) when I think around mutability – an idea that has some relation to the work I make, nearly making one thing another. I have often referred to art as some kind of faith, I have never thought of it as any kind of science (and nor do I want it to be). So perhaps it is inevitable that bringing together mutability and faith would lead me to think about transubstantiation. I remember learning the word at school and being fascinated by it. Not only is a wonderful word to pronounce, it also sounds so complex, difficult and nonsensical as to be almost unbelievable.

I am wondering if the claim in my work is located in something to do with seeing objects as some kind of belief system, something to do with finding meaning in objects – I mean meaning that is not restricted to their usefulness, something to do with making meaning in objects. Am I searching for the soul of objects?

Saw the ‘Life of Pi’ this week – if a tiger does not have a soul then a cake tin, shirt, length of vhs video tape and abandoned door certainly do not have them either. But perhaps it is interesting to see if I can make them reflect a soul. If that is not a claim then it might well be the aim of the work … Have I (unconsciously) been hoping that traces of soul might somehow have attached themselves to the second-hand materials I use?

The Swedish equivalent of the Job Centre has a special office for artists, actors, musicians, dancers etc. I went there this week to register and get help with finding some paid employment. Next week I go back with evidence of being an artist from the last three years so I am very glad that I produced the Ljusfältet booklet, and that Birgitta invited me to submit the idea for the piece in the first place. It is the perfect complement to the things that I have done in London and, I hope, demonstrates my ability to be an artist here too.

It is an amazing experience to go to the job centre and be taken seriously as a practicing artist. Once I am fully registered I have the opportunity to upload pictures of my work to their ‘Image Bank’ that is used by people (councils, companies etc.) looking to commission and purchase artworks! The look of sheer delight on my face amused the staff and I tried to control how many times I said “fantastic!” as they explained their range of services and advice seminars. Registering with the ‘culture office’ has the benefit that they help you seek work as an artist at the same time as they help you find more regular and easily available paid employment (fully aware that you are really an artist and will drop it as soon as you get project funding or a commission).

Altogether a very different experience from my visit to the job centre on Burdett Road (east London) where the Jobs Advisor, with a completely blank expression, told me that I meant “teacher” when I answered “artist” to her question about my profession.



I am starting to get that ‘itchy’ feeling that I get when it has been too long without getting my hands dirty with the actual making of art. I thought that this week, being half term at my language school, would be an ideal opportunity to be at the studio – which it has been, and it has been very productive however not in the sense that I thought that it might be. What I have produced is space and order, well a good few steps in their direction with a new set of shelves. It is amazing how different the studio feels.

New work needs space to come in to being and the studio, particularly the floor, was so cluttered with boxes of books and materials that it was not an effective working space. It is as if I need space in order to fill it (with new things).

I also spent a great deal of time on an assignment for the course at Konstfack. Each of us was asked to work with another student and make a short presentation about one of six ‘key concepts’ in artistic research. As one response that I received about my presentation of my work was that I failed to make any “claim” for it, I decided that claim would be my subject. It turned out to be an unexpectedly interesting and fruitful topic. Having been out of the academic context for a long time I am no longer used to explaining work in art-school terms and certainly not in artistic research terms. I now think that I have a better understand of the term (though no means exhaustive), but almost more interesting to me was thinking about language – I feel as though I am learning two new languages at the moment; Swedish and 21^st century academic language. Thinking (or content) is the easier part, the harder part is being able to use a language appropriately to communicate those thoughts. The things that I got wrong presenting my work ‘through the lens of claim’ today are not dissimilar to things that I often get wrong in Swedish; attempting to translate words rather than meanings, trying too hard, a lack of familiarity with the language making me sound like a foreigner … The more that I use the languages the more integrated they become and the more natural my way of speaking will appear to the natives!

Looking at what artistic research might be, compared to artistic practice, is fascinating and I really do not know if what I do is research or not, nor do know if I want my work to be more research rather than practice (if I accept the distinct between the two has something to do with improving outcomes and testability).

The art fairs already seem to have happened in some distant past rather than just two weeks ago. The stands at Supermarket continue to be a truly eclectic mix that probably quite accurately reflects the diversity of what might constitute an artist-led initiative and demonstrates the breadth of artistic ambition. Participants include ‘membership galleries’, radical collectives, theme based spaces and thrusting young artist/curator projects that could easily turn commercial as their artists become more established. For the most part though, they are groups of artists working together trying to find ways of surviving outside of the market. As the European economic crisis deepens even in Scandinavian countries (obviously not in Norway!) it is becoming apparent that funding art for art’s sake is becoming a tougher and much reduced field, a (sub)text of transferable and applicable skills is almost tangible.

Interestingly Market, the commercial fair, felt less exciting than it has done. A sense of cool despondency pervaded many of the booths. I was delighted that Galleri Andersson Sandström took the opportunity to show Alyson Shotz’ The Shape of Space piece that they had previously shown in their Umea gallery (in northern Sweden) and which has also been at the Guggenheim in New York.

The days are getting lighter and it feels as though spring is on the way …