New year is always a good time to reflect on things and set ambitions for the coming twelve months.  With the somewhat unexpected, though not entirely surprising, death of my grandmother at the age of 103, wondering about what it is exactly that I am doing and where I am heading seems even more poignant and pressing.  Add to this that I have spent the last four days making an application for a teaching post that is bound to attract a very high standard of applicant, whilst finishing up the last of my duties on the Introduction to Artistic Research course, and it is easy to understand my almost overwhelming desire for some sense of certainty.

So, new year, new goal setting!

  • focus on making art
  • that’s it … focus on making art!
  • and just that

Putting together a truly comprehensive CV for my application I came to see just how many things I do at the same.   It is no wonder that they over lap and compete for my time which ultimately makes it difficult (nigh-on impossible) to achieve the very thing that they are supposed to contribute toward – a sustainable practice!

This blog, and with that I refer to the processes of reflection, synthesis, and expression that it requires, has been an obvious casualty of my diverse and demanding activities.  I had neither time to write it nor much content beyond the occasional comment on art produced by someone else.  So with the cancellation of my teaching and my leaving the gallery committee here at the studio I intend to redress this somewhat sorry state of affairs.

Firstly I need to get on with making work for the upcoming exhibition that I have here at the studio.  I know what I want to make and how I want it to look.  The short time in which I have to achieve it (or at least something approaching it) will ensure that I do not get distracted or tempted to do something else.  There are several practical issues that I will need to resolve, and I look forward to doing this!  I also look forward to seeing if I am able to pull the whole thing off!!


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“Dormant” – an appropriate word as it puts me in mind of the mouse (dormouse) at the Mad Hatter’s tea party, and describes the recent state of my blog here!  In an only somewhat tenuous way the condition of my blog and the story of Alice in Wonderland are not unrelated.  Over the past few weeks I have been quite busy assisting Tim with feathers, hats, and headdresses for the launch of a collaborative project between him, Lisa (Sweden’s only hat-maker) and Haakon (a make-up artist and mask-maker).  Their project: House of Mad Hatter.

The opening was on Saturday.  I am very grateful for being invited to join them in Gothenburg and to have the opportunity to meet people that Tim has worked with over the years.  Once again I found myself feeling inspired to get on with my own things, and see if I can not find ways to do it more collaboratively.  I was reminded once more that an artist’s relationship with their gallery, curator, institution, financier, is (or should be) a collaboration.  And that the only way to build collaborations to get on and do it!

Working with Tim has also made me very aware of how much of his knowledge and skill is based on really understanding his materials.  His level of competence is not only technical but also historical, and of course aesthetic.  In the past I have always been seduced by more conceptual approaches to my own practice that in turn has led to working with a range of materials and processes.  I am quite envious of how focussing on a specific range of materials develops an expertise that I do not recognise in either my work or myself.  The trouble is that my mind runs away with itself – my mind is certainly faster than my hand!  And this is how I find myself with a studio full weird and wonderful materials and ‘academic’ art works that simply do not pay the rent!!  I enjoy learning new things, new techniques, however if I were to be critical of this I would have to say that it the attraction (distraction) of new processes and materials might well be hindering the deepening development of the more crafted qualities that I admire in other artists’ work.

Sorting through the shelves here a couple of weeks ago I came across a length of blue velvet that was intended to be used in my degree-show piece.  Prior to dying feathers this piece of fabric was the only thing that I have every dyed.  My degree work was a large wooden double-sided sculptural wardrobe.  The top-side of which should have been upholstered in this deep midnight blue velvet.  Due to various, serious, issues during the final term the piece eventual presented as its component parts rather than a singular object.  The length of blue velvet remained uncut, unworked.  The theatrical camp aspect of my current work at Mejan includes creating a costume for a dandy satyr.  Blue velvet.  Dandy satyr.  One very fitted short-tailed jacket with ‘M-notch’ lapels made in the 25 year old velvet that has followed me from Dartington to Stockholm.

I recently learnt that the ‘Introduction to Artistic Research’ course that I co-lead will not be offered in the new year.  This is disappointing.  Not only do I enjoy the work but we have also received such positive feedback from so many participants.  Anna and I had even began to discuss the possibility of developing and extending the course over the full academic year to increase the amount of one to one project supervision and to enable us to programme more visiting guests.  Hopefully we will have the chance to propose this in time for it to be considered for the coming autumn term.  In the meantime I am looking forward to a spring term when I can focus on my own projects both at Mejan and here in the studio.


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Okay!! Enough procrastination and distraction, I miss the process of posting here and therefore resolve to prioritise it and do it more regularly.

I am not someone who ‘hits the ground running’.  Travelling by steamship would suit me perfectly.  Arriving in London on Wednesday afternoon and going to Frieze on Thursday and Friday left me feeling quite stunned and lacking in critical faculties.  I am fortunate to have a (Frieze) VIP friend and accompanied him to Thursday’s breakfast viewings.  Walking around Frieze itself, after my friend took his afternoon flight, I found it difficult to connect with much of what I saw.  It felt as though more space had been given to the upcoming galleries which is good, and there seemed to be noticeably fewer of the more established galleries –especially those from the US and the continent.  The conversation between AA Bronson and Helen Molesworth was pleasantly informal, issues of the ambitions, responsibilities, and activities of both artists and curators were discussed with references to the particular social, cultural, and sexual context of the 80s.  In the light of my own practice it was good to be reminded of my history and its trajectory.

Perhaps the cosiness of smokey grey walls and thick carpet combined with the heady perfume of old money made Frieze Masters a soothing and somewhat intoxicating experience.  I find it awkward, and almost embarrassing, to accept how much I enjoy it.  Art (the object) in itself cannot be elitist, the culture that grows up around it (or that even produced it) absolutely can be.  I like beautiful things, and to my eye, these were plentiful at Masters.  Allowing myself to wallow in the wonderfulness of the art, suspending my anxieties about their prices and provenances was lovely.  Ever the (middle class, and now middle aged) socialist I left feeling even more convinced about the importance of national museums and the accessibility of their collections.

What are my references, my ambitions for my practice?  While running this morning the image of a tightrope walker came to mind.  It seems an interesting image, especially in terms of balance.  I like that it is balance that enables the tightrope walker to accomplish what is essentially a hermetic activity: the essential balance is achieved within the already defined parameters of the event – which may or may not be in balance with anything beyond the tightrope walker’s own sphere.  This is not say that tightrope walking does not serve as a more than useful metaphor, rather that it does so because it is to itself something of a closed circuit.  Could it be a similar kind of balance that I seek in my work?  Is it a somehow comparable kind of balance that exists in pieces that I am satisfied with?

The potentially over academic nature of my work for the Take a Walk on the Wild Side course is perhaps going to be held in check, in balance, by what seem to be increasingly camp and theatrical elements that I want to introduce.

 

Some what ironically in regard to my opening sentence it is now Tuesday evening.  I began writing this post late morning on Sunday.  I feel that if I do not upload it now it will feel too out dated and irrelevant by time I next sit at my computer.

The sense that I need to focus my time and energy is growing in urgency!  I want to focus on my own work (which I am doing through the course at Mejan), my part-time teaching, and my work with Tim.  In addition there is the Institute of Artistic Research.  These activities will all benefit from me being able to invest more of myself in them.  And they are after all things that I believe in and enjoy doing!

 


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