It was not my intention to disappear, especially not after questioning whether or not to renew my a-n membership, however studies, a trip to London and then a lack of technology in the Swedish countryside have led to a rather prolonged absence. I have a lot of catching up to do.

Today is my first real day in the studio since early June! It feels very good to be back at the start of what is going to be a very exciting (and challenging) year for me. Having passed the super-intensive language course I have started the final stage. I have been accepted on the second of Rolf Hugh’s artistic research (a/r) courses at Konstfack. This course will focus more own our own practices and less on the theory and context of a/r, though as we will meet in a seminar room it will continue to be discursive rather than hands on practical. Until a few weeks ago I imagined that these two courses and starting to look for some paid work here in Stockholm would occupy me for the autumn. In addition I have now been offered the (amazing) opportunity to also join the Project Programme at Mejan (the Royal College here, also known as KKH). I have applied for the programme for the last three years, and this year I was initially rejected (last year I was first reserve!), however when I final borrowed a friends trusty old monster of a computer to check my emails from his wi-fi free house where I was staying over the summer, there was a message from Mejan asking if I was still interested in the programme as they could offer me a place.

The Project Programme enables practicing artists to realise a professional project using the facilities at the college (not dissimilar to the UK AA2A scheme). I applied for a sculpture project, which means that I have access to their fantastic casting workshops. In fact my proposal was specifically aimed at casting as I want to re-acquaint myself with, and develop, these processes and want to work with new materials. Mejan has a reputation for its practical and technical expertise, and I am really interested in combining this with the more theoretical content at Konstfack.

The day-to-day reality of doing one full time course (the Project Programme) and two part-time ones (a/r and language) is both exciting and daunting. The a/r and language courses finish in December, so I am hoping that I can manage them all until then!

I will wait to see how it is with working space at Mejan before I make any decision about sub-letting my studio for the year. Economically it might make better sense to hire storage space for the things that I have at the studio. At the very least I will see if I can find someone to share the studio with – it is foolish to have it sitting unused for most of the week.

Mejan has the most fantastic waterfront location in central Stockholm, right next door to Moderna and opposite the old town and habour. Everyday for the past year when I have taken the little shuttle train out to Fisksatra where I live I have looked across the water and longed to be in the art school on the other side, soon I will be! It is still almost unbelievable!

In the meantime … this Thursday is the opening night for most of the commercial galleries after their summer break and I am looking forward to a good night out and seeing some art after what feels like a very long time away. It is actually only six weeks since I was in London, but living a completely different life for five weeks (working as a waiter in a country inn in the archipelago) has affected my sense of time.


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It feels such a long time since I last wrote. I am in the middle to an all-consumingly intensive language course – if I pass it means that I can start the final stage of these courses in autumn and hopefully be finished at the end of the year, rather than this time next year!

A few weeks ago I noticed a poster here at the studio advertising a presentation by Ross Birrell at the invitation of Tris Vonna Michell. The poster had the Royal College (KKH) logo on it. I first met Ross about 20 years ago when we were both doing live art/performance art at the CCA in Glasgow – Ross far more successfully than me – and the last time we met was at the Goat Island Summer School (also at the CCA in 1996). The internet can be a wonderful thing and I quickly discovered that Ross is making and showing beautifully elegant installations and sound pieces across Europe and the US. His presentation of the most recent piece at the Rothko Chapel and the background to it was incredibly inspiring, not simply in terms of achieving such a prestige project (amongst others), but the complexity of the processes through which he develops his work. Listening to him, and speaking with him afterwards, I began to understand more about what artistic research could be. The scale and ambition of Ross’ pieces is fantastic, and I really needed to hear how he develops work through the combination of conceptual and sensual aspects.

Tris Vonna Michell, whose work I first saw at a Tate Triennial a few years ago, made an impression on me not only with his work but also with fact that he was from Southend on Sea – not far from where I grew up – there are not so many internationally acclaimed contemporary artists from that neck of the woods. I also saw his show at Tensta Konsthall here and was fascinated by his use of slide projectors – that’s the kind of technology that I relate to! It was an absolute pleasure to meet him and find out that he has lived in Stockholm for four years and is currently one of the resident artists at KKH.

My own presentation at the end of the research course at Konstfack was on a far more ‘intimate’ scale, which I was very glad about, as the last six months have been rather less than productive on an artistic front. My attention has been firmly fixed on the Swedish language. I received very positive feedback afterwards, however I am aware that I am capable of doing so much more. Which, partly, lead me to the decision to apply for the ‘part two’ course that will be running in the autumn. This time I have a different strategy; I am going to make new work as my participation in the course. Over the current course I applied the things I was learning to existing work, which though useful has a certain retrogressive feel to it. If I am offered a place on the new course I want to experiment with something much more progressive! I am even wondering if I can include aspects to do with learning Swedish … my thinking is that I can take the opportunity of the course to devise a working process that is quite different from my usual habits and routines … take the chance to do something new … allow myself to really engage with learning … allow myself to be (really) open to development!

I have a dilemma, do I renew my a-n subscription or not? I would like to keep supporting a-n but I do not have any income at the moment, not do I use any of the resources that a subscription provides, and as I live in Sweden the ppl insurance does not cover me … after what must be a total of nearly 15 years of subscribing it feels so strange to even consider not renewing ….

Duet 2012, Ross Birrell http://vimeo.com/46173932


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Had a very interesting day at Konstfack on Friday – presentations of artistic research projects and degree shows. Doing the research course has been a truly great experience, not only have I had the opportunity to find out more about what Artistic Research is – or might be! – I have gotten to know a really interesting and generous group of artists (in which I also include the course tutor). The course has provided me with a framework within which to think about my own practice but it has also opened up possibilities of vast new areas and approaches – things that I want to continue to explore and develop.

I have just received details of the ‘next’ course and will apply for that too.

The course has given me a lot to think about – directly and indirectly. One of the more interesting indirect things has been my resistance to the word ‘project’! I now think my that resistance had to do with a) how the word is sometimes (mis)used, and b) its relevance to my own practice. Partly in preparation for applying for the next course, and partly for my own sake, I have been thinking about what my work is about, what subject, theme or topic I can draw out of it (as opposed to ‘place on it‘). I realised that this subject, theme or topic is the essence of what could be called my ‘project’ – I like the idea that ‘project’ can describe the theme and approach of my practice. In that way I think that the word, and the concept, could be very useful to me and perhaps it is this usefulness that has enabled me to re-access my resistance. Through the course I have begun to think more carefully about the persistent qualities in my practice and it is these that are slowly forming into what I might be happily able to call ‘my project’.

I remain nervous about the relationship between the thinking, reading and writing, and the actual physical visual making. This, I suspect, is an important feeling and one to be embraced rather than avoided, for it is this tension between theory and practice – if I can get it right(!) – that will develop and progress what I achieve.

One of my fellow students and I had a very interesting discussion about one of the research presentations, I was delighted when she called me the following the day to talk a little more about what she and her partner had been discussing over night. Even more delighted that she spoke Swedish with me and that I was almost entirely able to speak Swedish with her! Language is both central and incidental part of my life at the moment, I am so pleased that outside of the course times my class-mates speak Swedish with me, it is an incredible help for improving my ‘art’ Swedish and it the best kind of feedback that I could receive as it is so easy for Swedes to seamlessly, and politely, change to English when they realise that someone does not understand them or is incapable of expressing themselves in Swedish.




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After days of reading, writing and confusion it was lovely to come to the studio put on my old overalls and get on with something practical before sitting at the desk and switching on the computer.

I am tying myself in knots trying to write about my work for the research course. Writing about my work does not come naturally to me, at the moment I am so confused that I do not quite understand what it exactly is that I am even trying to write! Phrases from the final assignment float around in my head but somehow they remain intangible. Writing is not my medium, visual art is – and this is, I guess, the challenge faced by all artists wishing to participate in fields such as research where the demand for dissemination, communicability and academic status steer us towards the written word.

Being able to express my practice, or at least ‘give an account’ of it, in written form would be great, and I am certain that this skill would open doors for me beyond the immediate situation. I imagine that writing any kind of application or proposal would be easier if the ‘right’ words flowed freely.

Searching for inspiration I started to read about some of my favourite artists. This produced strange sensations of both surety and futility – I began to imagine that my work had a heritage and a context, and conversely I began to wonder where its originality, if it had any, lay.

The originality lies, of course, in the execution. The challenge I face now is how to make the execution (rather than the concept for example,) the focus of the writing, because for me the execution has always been the actual artwork.

Questions:

If research is about improvement, what does ‘improvement’ mean in terms of artistic research?

If research needs to be evaluated, what does ‘evaluation’ mean in terms of artistic research?

If the intention of artistic research is to draw the research topic out of the practice rather than present the topic to the practice, how does the artist(ic researcher) produce and investigate the practice at the same time? It sounds as though I need to be simultaneously both inside and outside of the practice. Can that be right? How could that be possible?

Leaving the above aside (!), what have I come up with so far? What can I suggest that my artwork does in a way that might be considered ‘research’? It presents new ways to think about things, it encourages heightened/increased sensitivity to the material world, it attempts to offer new possibilities and methods of comprehension. (I worry that this all starts to sound rather patronising and egocentric.)

The idea of making new connections interests me as it starts to suggest a way of producing new knowledge, or at least extending existing knowledge, making additions, this is certainly something that I can draw out from my practice.

I worry that the things I have identified so far are not (nor should they be!) unique to my practice. Research is of course related to the access to, and distribution of, resources, which is why the question of ‘significance’ comes up so often. If I cannot make a good argument for the significance of my practice then I feel that it is unlikely to gain access to research resources even if it might be considered to be research. I find it particularly hard to think of how I might claim the significance of work that is yet to be made. Perhaps this is where the term ‘project’ has its use. Could the ‘project’ be the structure that gives subsequent artworks significance?

I resisted the word ‘project’ as I could not see its relation to my practice, perhaps I am beginning to realise its potential. This week we received information about the follow-up course that we are invited to apply for, it’s name: Artistic Research Project – maybe it’s a sign …




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I want, and need, to work out how I can start getting some exhibition opportunities here in Stockholm. I guess that it is probably no different to anywhere else, so have to admit that I have always found it challenging to promote myself – far easier to promote other people and to be invited to show … One significant difference between here and London for example is that there are still ways to get financial support for art, for example grants that can be used to realise an exhibition, or produce work. This is important for me to remember, as I am not in a position where I am earning money to finance things myself as I often did in London. My pace is somewhat slow, so the sooner I get started the better!

Perhaps unsurprisingly I have been thinking about what kind of space, both literally and conceptually, my work occupies. These questions have come up through the research course, but also possibly because I wonder the same about myself as I become more settled in Sweden. What is my identity as an artist? What do I want it to be? Perhaps if I could start to work that out I might start to see a plan of action. A tighter focus might be just what I need right now, a way to make things manageable.

At the studio’s annual meeting on Wednesday we (Birgitta, Leif and I) received approval for our ‘motion’ that the exhibition space be guaranteed for as long as the studios are here. It has been a question hanging over the space since the private funding for a part-time curator ceased a couple of years ago. We are also the members who now have responsibility to make it happen! It is very exciting and although I think it will be a lot of work I expect to get a lot out of it, not least a far better understanding of how artists and arts venues work here. In addition I want to do as much as I can in Swedish so that my ability to talk about art in Swedish improves – something that I cannot really expect to happen on the language courses that I am doing.

Last night I went tot the opening of a show by artists who last year took the ‘Swedish’ artistic research course as Konstfack (there are two research courses running this year – one in Swedish and one in English! The one in Swedish also ran last year and it was those artists whose show opened yesterday). Many of the artists’ statements were very clear about the personal nature of the works’ content and explained that the research process had been significant to their understanding of their motivations and imagery. The ‘Swedish identity’ seemed to be a thread that ran through many pieces. I tried to imagine some of my work in the show and found it rather difficult. On the way home I wondered what a group show from ‘my’ research course might look like, perhaps I will get the opportunity to find out …




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